· ·Sk8ter Boi· ·
by copywritten
Summary: She broke his heart years ago when she was young and silly. Now he's famous and successful, and bitter and distant. Can she fix the one thing she broke and will he forgive her for the many secrets she kept from him?
1. Apologize

Disclaimer: No need for one clearly I don't own any of the characters in Tree Hill

_**Disclaimer:**_** No need for one clearly I don't own any of the characters in Tree Hill!**

_**Author: **_**GHOST **

**_Summary_: Brooke Davis is your cliché beautiful and rich girl with her nose permanently affixed in the air. Lucas Scott is the poor boy that loved her and was never considered good enough for her, but what happens when the roles switch and when they meet up years later? Lets find out!**

He was a skater boy she said see you later boy , he wasn't good enough for her

_She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space, She needed to come back down to _

_Earth._

Chapter One- Apologize

_It's too late to apologize.._

Have you ever been surrounded be a gaggle of people but still felt inexplicably lonely? Or have you ever got the feeling that you were a puppet and you were just being stringed along it's like you're breathing but not really living, everything that was once lively about you is now dormant and atrophying. Everyday I feel as if a piece of me dies even more, like my soul is shrinking into a black chasm of nothingness and it seems that nothing can temper this sting of loneliness and here's why, because I don't have him. As I stand before this big white mansion that holds the key to my heart, the answer to all my prayers, I can't seem to muster up the courage to just ring the door bell, It's like I have this totally bogus image of him opening the door and slamming it in my face.

I swallowed the bitter pill rejection and finally managed to just touch my finger to the round circular doorbell, the chiming of it reverberated throughout the large mansion and only served to make me even more nervous.

The seconds seemed to crawl by slowly as I stood awaiting some type of response. I rubbed my hands apprehensively against the blue jean fabric on my thighs and bit down on my bottom lip.

A few more minutes went by before I came to the conclusion that no one was home or they just weren't answering the door, my back that had been stiff with fear visibly relaxed as I began trekking down the porch stairs.

"Brooke?" A soft voice called out with uncertainty, my back froze at the recognition of the voice, and what was she doing here? I hadn't spoke to her in years.

Should I stay should I go? The words reiterated themselves like a stuck recording in my brain, I didn't want to face her like EVER but then again I couldn't keep avoiding her I had to talk her and get this over with, after all it had been nearly 6 years.

I turned to face her and Immediately regretting doing so, her sun-kissed blonde hair was seemingly one with the wind as it blew gracefully tousling the perfect plump curls that haloed her angelic face, a face that hadn't been touched or marred by time but in fact like wine it had bettered with time.

She was still beautiful, and for that I hated her. Her hazel-greenish orbs mirrored the indecision she must've felt towards the situation at hand, she looked unsure of herself which was shocking being as that Peyton Sawyer had always been cool, confident and in control it was one of the many things that made me envy her.

"Hey" I spoke into the silence as if just awaking to find her there my words measured and unconfident, the moment the words tumbled out my mouth I wanted to stuff them back in I'm sure she'd heard the tremble in my tone and I didn't want her to think her presence had any effect on me.

"Oh my god Brooke is that really you? You look so. Different" Peyton mused her eyes weighing me up and down, I wanted nothing more than the ground to open up and swallow me whole as she surveyed me from head to toe with a superior smug look on her face, she thought I looked awful and the truth was I did.

Even as beautiful and smart as Peyton was, the one thing she didn't hold over me was looks, albeit Peyton was pretty I was gorgeous, even in our youthful days guys always preferred me over her once they'd gotten what they wanted though or saw that they couldn't get anything they'd always then move onto Peyton sticking her with sloppy seconds.

But now worry lines creased my face, my mouth that once always been curved into a inviting smile was now puckered up like a prune, and I wore a constant scowl on my face , it was as if our roles had been switched I was no longer the cheery and optimistic teenager I once was, I was now a brooding bitch like Peyton had been, she now wore the smile and boy did she wear it well.

A wave of hatred swelled up and rose up inside of me so strong that it nearly choked me with its intensity as I stared at her.

"Yeah I've just been really stressed lately" I finally replied.

She shook her head as if she understood before stepping fully out onto the porch showing off her lean and lither figure, she wore a plain white cotton t-shirt that looked 5 sizes too big , various colors splashed across it as if to say she'd been in the middle of painting, light blue faded blue jeans that were torn at the knees and no shoes or socks, she looked completely comfortable and unerringly beautiful, I hated her so much.

"So how long have you been back in Tree Hill?" She asked settling on a porch step as she folded her legs underneath her Indian style. "A few days" I gave a short and cold response, why was she dawdling? Peyton was definitely playing her old mind games and what was she doing here and where was HE?

"That's nice " She chimed.

"Look Peyton lets cut the crap, what are you doing here? We both know I came to see Lucas and not you" I spat.

A look of shock flashed across her pretty features before she began laughing riotously "What am I doing here? I live here, or didn't you know? Lucas and I are married"

"You're lying I don't believe you" I shook my head negligently. " Am I?" She shot back showing off a large diamond, it seemed to wink back at me and taunt me in its entire glaring splendor.

I wanted nothing more than to rip that fucker right off her finger, it was mine it belonged to me I had loved him all those years, me not her. The pain that constricted and squeezed around my heart was so powerful that for a moment it almost felt as if I couldn't breathe. It felt as if I was being hurtled into a cesspool of nothingness, the little life I had left in me was being drained quickly.

"Peyton?" A deep male voice called out bringing me out of my temporary stupor and causing the hackles on the back of my neck and arms to rise up, It was him.

He ducked his head full of dirty blonde hair out of the door his gaze loving and searching, he had once looked at me like that but now that gaze was solely for her, that bitch.

" Hey babe look we have a visitor" She purred enjoying every moment of what was taking place, his eyes flicked to me and seemingly bulged right out of his sockets. He seemed to have gotten over his initial shock as a mask of coldness took over his features , his frigid demeanor carried its coolness to me and left me frozen and unsure.

"Who are you? " He asked coldly and bluntly his words may have well served as a dagger because they pierced my skin sharply like a tiny dozen knives cutting me all at once. He stared at me taking in the extra 30 pounds I had gained and my haggard appearance, my brown lustrous hair that had once had a natural shine to it now seemed to dull in comparison to Peyton's, My hazel eyes were full of sadness and longing and I just knew he could read how badly I wanted him, and the tweed brown cotton dress I had on looked more like a paper bag than a fashionable garment, I know it had been a while but did he really not know who I was?

"Its me Brooke I saw the video on MTV and I just wanted to know how have you been" I managed to say on a smirk my smile trembling with fear as I tried hard to perfect a look of confidence.

I refused to let him see the insecurity I was feeling. "Do I know you?" He asked the coldness of his words blasting me and leaving me frozen for a second.

'I- uh, I went to high school with you "I responded.

"I'm sorry I have no idea who you are, please leave before I get my security," He stated simply and icily

"Lucas please don't do this," I croaked reaching to touch his arm.

He snatched it back violently as if he'd been burned and he had I had burned in so deeply and badly that his wounds would never heal.

"Get the fuck off my property" He snarled causing Peyton to snicker, he turned to her and glowered before giving me his full attention, the hostility in his gaze was enough to cut me down where I stood.

"Lucas please just let me explain-"

He threw a hand up cutting me off as he shook his head disbelievingly" You've got some fucking nerve showing up here after all these years, there's nothing to explain Brooke LEAVE before I call the police on you like you did me " All I could see on his face was a look of hatred so palpable and thick, that I could cut it with a knife.

He was no longer the charming and funny boy I had fallen in love with, in his stead was a cool unfeeling monster, I wanted nothing more than to reach out and push the wayward lock of blonde hair that had fallen over his eye the way I used to, to tell him that everything would be all right the way I used to do any time he was upset or worried, it used to make him feel better but now I was afraid the person he had became would probably hit me if I dared to even try.

I stared haplessly at the known stranger who had turned his back to me wishing that I could turn back the hands of time and do everything differently, but now he was lost to me forever

And I wanted nothing more than to die, I had to get him back or at least try.

I mustered up enough bravado to run after him, Peyton had just entered in the house and he was nearly half way in before I grabbed his arm.

"Lucas please, you don't know how hard it's been for me" I began pleading

"Get off me " He shouted trying to wrestle his arm free but I had a iron grip on it I couldn't let go I REFUSED TO he was my soul, my everything.

"Lucas please don't do this" I began crying the hot tears streaming down my face uncontrollably.

"Brooke stop it you're being ridiculous"

"Lucas please I love you, I'm so sorry Lucas" I was sobbing now as he continued to try and work his arm free, Peyton stared at the scene with disbelieving eyes I had always been proud and arrogant so the prospect of seeing me beg was a foreign and unheard of concept in her eyes.

He began nearly dragging me through the house on my knees as he keep trying to get me free of me, I clamped down even tighter the excess weight I had gained helping to secure his arm.

"Lucas please don't let go, don't ever let go" I started crying even harder as the years flashed before me, all the pain and turmoil I had been through, the agony I needed him he was my rock my security, I couldn't believe he was doing this to me.

"Brooke stop it have you no pride" Peyton muttered in a disgusted tone.

"NOOO. PLEASE LUCAS " I continued to wail as he finally broke free I grabbed onto the next thing his ankle, he was now literally dragging me on the expensive marble tiles of his floor.

"Security!" He called out.

"L-Lucas please" I stuttered through my tears I had a headache from crying so hard and snot above my lip but I didn't care I couldn't let go, I wouldn't let go.

Suddenly I was being hauled off the ground and thrown over the shoulder of one of Lucas's bulky body guards, I kicked , screamed, acted a damn fool I was have a nervous break down, after all these years of never crying I was really and truly breaking down and I didn't care I just had to get Lucas back.

The feeling of wet grass underneath me shocked me out of my thoughts as I realized I had just been thrown into the grass outside the gates of Lucas's mansion.

"GET OUT AND STAY OUT!" The security guard growled, I started to go after him and fight him but I decided enough was enough.

As I replayed my actions a deep feeling of embarrassment crept upon me, as I sat on the wet grass with nothing but my tears, I didn't even have any pride or dignity left

Dusting the clumps of wet mud that had stained my dress off I got up slowly and began walking down the street, as if in a trance I couldn't believe my actions, I had totally lost my mind but even more disconcerting than that was the dawning of comprehension that Lucas no longer loved me, he hated me, detested me, I had done too much to him and now it was too late to apologize.


	2. Secrets Untold

The next day started out like every other day had began in my dismal life, disastrous

**Thanks for my hits! Now if we can get some reviews circulating that'd be awesome! Oh yeah FYI for all the Zanessa fans I'll be posting a Zanessa fic called Star-crossed Ill keep you posted! Until then enjoy the update oh yeah I attempted to do a little poetry tell me what cha think! Xoxo **_**–ghost-**_

**Chapter Two –Secrets Untold**

Shrouded in darkness, until iridescence shines its merciful light upon my soul I am cloaked in this misery, with nothing but my hollow thoughts, and secrets untold

I sat there in the dark on my bed reveling in my thoughts, alone with nothing but agony and despair keeping me company. Somewhere off in the distance the wind howled, a police siren rung out, a baby cried as the sounds of neighbors in the project housing where I lived enmeshed together creating their own harmony; the music of their noise feel on deaf ears I was immune to everything except the agonizing pain I was feeling and the bottle of Jack Daniels I was cradling in my arm, like a baby cradles to a blanket.

A bittersweet nostalgic crept over me as I allowed myself to remember, if only for a second I just needed this.

Just

One

Second.

I could almost taste the sweetness of his breath, taste the liveliness I had once felt, just as quick as the image had appeared the imagery dissipated and again I was alone with nothing but my memories and my alcohol.

I was momentarily stirred out my memories as a song that played on the radio caught my attention, it was Whitney Houston I will always love you, for a brief second I hummed along to the soft mantra allowing the ballad to soothe away my hurt. Then I really listened to the words and immediately I hated Whitney what did she know about love? How could you let someone go if you really and truly loved them, or was it considered selfish and not love if you couldn't let them go and wish them happiness? Did I know the true meaning of love? And if so why hadn't I proved myself to love all those years ago when it had blessed with the gift named Lucas.

The shrill jangle of the telephone sliced into my thoughts causing me to jump at the abruptness of it I fumbled around in the dark before finally retrieving it off its cordless receiver "This better be good" I mumbled groggily on a yawn.

"Brooke?" A soft feminine voice questioned, the familiarity of her voice sent a warm jolt stirring through me, It was Rachel Gattina we'd been best friends in high school and hadn't spoken since I'd fled Tree Hill 6 years ago.

"Rachel" I gave a soft of incredulity.

"Yeah, listen I'm sorry about calling so late it's just that I haven't spoken to you in like forever" Rachel spoke hurriedly her voice tinged with contriteness.

"No, No it's ok it feels good to hear a familiar voice" I assured her on a smile.

"Listen Brooke I heard about what happened earlier, and I know we haven't spoken in like forever but I just wanted to make sure you were ok"

"I'm fine, it just caught me by surprise that's all"

"Liar" Rachel retorted, she'd always known me so well.

Silence ensued as I sat there for a moment debating whether or not I should share with her how I really felt if she'd heard what happened then it was likely she was friends with Peyton, then again I'd always been able to trust Rachel, besides I needed someone to talk to.

I took a deep sigh "It's just been so hard Rachel" I started

"I know, its been hard for me too" Her words were so soft and genuine, it had been so long since I'd had someone to talk to, someone who listened and really cared about me, up until now I hadn't realized what I was missing, the realization struck hard and unexpected and before I knew it I was crying.

Again.

"That's right cry sweetie let it all out" Rachel encouraged me, that was another thing I loved about her she never made me it seem as if my crying was a show of weakness, she thought it helped to cleanse the soul.

"Rachel I miss you so much, what happened to us?" I questioned on a hiccup.

"Life happened"

"I know its just I had it all planned out you know, I was going to marry Lucas, design clothes, raise a couple of brats and live happily ever after, man did I get a rude awakening" I snorted derisively.

"You! Hell I can't even afford to may my mortgage most of the time, and Mouth drives me crazy" Rachel laughed.

"Mouth?" I nearly shouted but caught my self.

"Yeah we got married 3 years back, we've got a little boy together his name is Sammy and he's 1"

"Oh my god Rachel that's great" I spoke lacking any real conviction as happy as I wanted to be for her I kind of felt a little jealous, Rachel had done everything she set out to do.

I remember we used to sit around and plan our lives together we both wanted to be married with kids, great husbands and an awesome job, she'd accomplished the dream me on the other hand I was a fat failure.

"Hey Listen Brooke I know it's late and all but I was wondering could I come over? I really want to see you its been forever" Rachel practically pleaded.

Silence.

Would she laugh at how portly I had become? Or would she look at me like there was nothing different about me, I couldn't hide.

"Sure my address is 4737 S Ingleside, Apt 2a just look for the shabbiest most rundown building on the block and that's me," I laughed sarcastically.

"Ok I'm on my way"

"Ok Bye" I hung up the phone and tried to sluice some water on my face and make myself look at least somewhat presentable, I pulled my lifeless chest nut hair into a ponytail atop my head applied a little mascara and settled for some black jeans and an all black shirt. I knew I was overdoing it but black made me look slimmer and I couldn't have her seeing me look like a fat washed out pig.

By the time Rachel arrived I'd managed to make myself look at least Ok, I was nothing short of a plain but it'd have to do.

Still I was a little reluctant when Rachel knocked on the door, I smoothed out an imaginary wrinkle in my black tank top before opening the door. I drunk in the image of the tall red-headed knock out that stood at my door my mouth slightly agape at how stunning she looked.

Rachel was still tall and extremely leggy she looked about 5'10, her red hair was pulled into a sophisticated bun at the nape of her neck exposing the soft and downy baby hairs at her neck, her green eyes glowed and reflected a happiness and serenity so contagious for a moment I almost felt it , she wore a simple white T shirt and gray sweats with black open toe thong straps her pretty dainty toes painted in a dramatic pink.

"You look awesome" I finally managed to gush out.

"You look terrible" She shot back her lip curled up in disbelief and disgust.

"Gee thanks Rach," I muttered sardonically.

"Hell Brooke I'm being honest, you're never gonna get Lucas back looking like this, ok I didn't expect this let me think" She said putting her fingers to her temple rubbing it as if searching for a thought.

"Get me Lucas back? Are you crazy he's married"

"No he's engaged which means he's still available if we most quickly and strategically-

"But Peyton said they were married" I cut her off.

"Yeah well Peyton's always been a delusional bitch, trust me their not married" Rachel said.

"Well it doesn't matter anyway, you heard what happened Lucas hates me"

"Oh please Brooke that's just a front, he doesn't hate you he's just extremely pissed off and he's got every right to you fucked him over pretty badly Brooke" Rachel stated softly, she wasn't one for mincing words and she always gave me her honest opinion even when I didn't want it.

"You don't understand Rach I **had** to leave I didn't have a choice"

"You're right Brooke I don't understand, I don't understand what the fuck was so important that it made you leave like that, you never even said goodbye I thought we were friends" Rachel said with a hurt look.

"It wasn't you, it wasn't Lucas, it was me I just needed to sort some things out I needed some time alone" I lied I couldn't tell her the real reason I'd left, I couldn't tell anyone.

"You're lying Brooke, I can see it all in your face"

"No I'm not I'm serious I just needed to take care of some business" I tried to convince her but to no avail Rachel wasn't buying the bullshit I was selling.

"So you're just gonna keep lying to me?" Rachel shrieked. I tried putting my finger to my lip gesturing for her to be quiet but she was on a rampage.

"DON'T YOU SSH ME DAMNIT BROOKE ANSWER ME WHAT WAS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU JUST HAD TO LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING GOOD BYE, WHAT SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE TO LIE TO ME ABOUT IT!"

"Rachel please be quiet" I begged quietly my glance darting back and forth between Rachel and my bedroom, Rachel's keen gaze followed mine and without a word she began marching to the bedroom.

"Rachel no, please don't go in there" I started after her trying to pull her back , I managed to hold her for about a millisecond before she bit my arm hard, in the brief second I held my arm in pain she managed to get away and run towards the bedroom.

I ran life I'd never ran before but still I was no match for Rachel's long legs and lean figure, before I knew it she was throwing up the bedroom door and turning on the light.

I held my breath, walking slowly to the room , my secret was out there was nothing I could do anymore.

Rachel turned to me her eyes wide as saucers as I reached the door.

"Is she yours?" She asked.

A tear escaped down my cheek before I shook my head yes.

Rachel walked further into the room I followed behind her.

"She's so beautiful" Rachel said staring down at the sleeping child on my bed.

"How old is she?" Rachel asked.

I cleared my throat before answer"6"I croaked.

Rachel's eyes widened even more

"Is she?" She asked

"Yes she's his, She's Lucas's child," I stated firmly.

Rachel fainted.


	3. Tell Him

**Authors Note:** So like it's been forever since I've added I do apologize I've just had A LOT on my plate I MISSED YOU GUYS THOUGH! However I'm back now! And with an extremely long UPDATE might I add J In this upcoming chapter there will be flashbacks, which will be written in ITALIC so that it's easy to distinguish, throughout the whole story a flashback will be added every chapter to give you insight on the PAST and the present, so with that being said hope you guys enjoy!! And don't forget comments are 3 also I apologize for how jumbled together the words look microsoft word was totally not working so I had to improvise!! **sorry!!**

**Chapter 3 Tell Him**

I stood with my arms wrapped around my mid-section attempting to comfort myself from what had just transpired and gazing out my window into the horizon. Dawn was breaking and tiny prisms of light danced their way between the slits of my dirty Venetian blinds. It had been a couple hours since Rachel had mutely left and I hadn't been able to sleep a wink since then. Every time I tried to close my eyes a vision of Rachel's solemn face and angry words would haunt me and attack at my conscience like tiny missiles. After Rachel had fainted she'd woke up and we got into a big fight "You're not who I thought you were Brooke, what kind of person keeps a child from her father?" Rachel had retorted angrily tears brimming in her eyes.

"The kind that doesn't want to see her child get hurt, I mean you heard about how horrible Lucas was today" I replied tightly.

"That's because he didn't know! I'm sure if he would've known things would've gone differently" Rachel tried to rationalize.

"Yeah well I'm not about to use my child as some form of a bargaining chip if Lucas doesn't want to see me Reagan's not going to make much of a difference"

"And who are you to say that? Who are you to make that sacrifice its not right keeping a father and daughter apart Brooke she has a right to know who her father is and he has a right to know he has a daughter!" Rachel harped.

"SACRIFICES? SACRIFICES! Don't you DARE talk to me about making sacrifices!" I pointed an accusing finger in her direction.

"You don't know the first THING about making sacrifices you don't know what's it like to starve while you spend your last two dollars on buying your child something to eat you don't know what it's like to basically sell your body so that you can keep a roof over your child's head, just so you can sleep better at night knowing you did all you could to take care of her" Tears began streaming down my face.

"I wake up everyday Rachel wondering how I'm going to take care of her, I watch her play with old hand me down dolls feeling shitty because I know deep down inside she deserves a better life, I sell whatever part of me I can to try and get her something better and THAT is what I call sacrifice. I've taken her temperature when she was sick! I taught her how to walk, how to do things the right way, and you know what her first word was? Mama! Not Daddy, so don't you see it's ME. It's ME who's been here for her Lucas doesn't have the right to know a damn thing! So you just take your pretty face and your pretty clothes and shove em right up your ass!" I railed wiping at the tears on my face.

"Oh THAT is bullshit Brooke you think I don't know what sacrifice is? You have no IDEA what I've been through these past years but I'm not walking around like a poster board for sympathy I deal with my problems so you can just take your woe it's me bullshit and shove it right up your ass, because you are NOT the only person who's had to make sacrifices for herself and her child and for you to even imply as much makes you a selfish cold-hearted BITCH, so you know what Brooke fuck you! You should've done all of a tree hill a favor and just stayed wherever the hell you were" Rachel scoffed grabbing her jacket and slamming out the door.

"NO FUCK YOU"I screamed at the door before banging it in anger. "ERGH!"I screamed in frustration sliding down against the door onto the floor before burying my face in my hands and crying, I had sat like that for at least an hour before going to the window and staring out of it. Now here I was alone with nothing left but the distant memory of what was once, left to revel in loneliness. I wish I could somehow take it back, all of it, how had I got to this dark place? And how long would I be left languishing in the dark before Lucas reappeared to light up my world again, would it never happen? I hugged myself and closed my eyes and for just one brief second allowed myself to float back to a time and place where things had been so much easier.

_Flashback _

_When the taxicab pulled to a stop in front of the tall dirty building, I felt my heart beat speed up nervously. This was it. This was where one journey would end and another would begin. The eight-story drab building in front of me was where I would spend the next few years of my life abiding. The reality of it all suddenly seemed too much. And suddenly I didn't want to get out. This had to be some sort of mistake. Instantaneously I wanted to go back home to Newport Harbor. For a desperate fleeting second I wondered if I could convince the cab driver to carry me back to the airport, and if so it would have to be for free since I had no money left. "Thirty-three seventy-five" He spoke suddenly into the silence in a thickly accented voice that carried its nervousness to me. His eyes flitted anxiously around the loitered streets as if at any moment he expected his car to be stolen right from up under him and that only served to make me even more edgy than I already was. I cleared my voice in an attempt to voice my uncertainty" Excuse me kind sir but this has to be some sort of mistake, you see my family and I are very well off and there's no way this could possibly be the address" I explained with a contrite smile which was to let him know I forgave him for his mistake. _

_"You say 935 this is 935 now get out!" He snapped rudely looking around again to make sure that no one was out to get him. A brief wave of surprise swept over me before I got enraged never in my life had I been talked to so rudely. _

_"Now sir there's really no need to be rude! I'll have you know my father is Theodore Davis and if he ever caught wind of this you'd be very sorry now fortunately for you I'm willing to forgive you_ _your blatant display of rudeness now take me to the right address and I'll let bygones be bygones" I replied firmly. BOOM! A firecracker sounded off in the distance causing the cabby to jump however I remained calm being as that it was a couple of days before the fourth of July and it was regular for people to be playing with firecrackers, however I guess the cabby hadn't gotten the notice because he looked remarkably close to pissing on himself. "Holy fuck! They shoot! Get out! I not die over you!" He jabbed an accusing finger in my face bobbing his head so animatedly his turban managed to go a bit askew and slide off his head a bit revealing a baldhead. _

_"You get that finger out my face you strange little bald man "I slapped his finger away "I'm not going anywhere until you take me to the right address!" I folded my arms firmly against my chest in an unmoving stance. "OH YEAH WE SEE ABOUT THAT!" He laughed crazily before getting out his seat and jerking open my door "What are you doing this is prosperous!" I shrieked as he began grabbing for me trying to jerk me out the car. "Why I never!" I squealed as he grabbed an arm, I didn't even give it any compunction before I began wildly flailing my arms and attacking him. I smacked at his head trying to avoid him from mauling me my hand collided with the turban knocking it off his head and into the wet mud on the ground. His eyes widened at what I had just done as he looked at his clean white turban sitting in the mud "You BITCH!" He cried and jerked me up roughly throwing me face first into the grass._

_ I felt momentarily suffocated by the dirty grass getting into my nose and mouth, I spit it out before straightening myself enough to sit up and dust the grass off my brand new white tennis clothes. I was livid! The nerve of that cab driver he had no idea who he was dealing with!" I have never in my life met anyone so rude" I said through clenched teeth as he began throwing my Louis Vutton suitcases onto the ground. "Are you crazy that's Louis Vutton!" I wailed standing up so that he could stop tossing my things, but he was too fast the moment the last bag was out the trunk he hurriedly ran to the driver side and hopped into his seat closing the door rapidly, his back door wasn't even closed when he revved up the engine and took off in a flurry of smoke and squealing tires. "Crazy Bitch!" He yelled shaking a fist out the window at me before he disappeared around the corner. "Oh Poo!" I said aloud to the whole situation in general, what was I going to do now? I began gathering my things together and once I had done that I sat on a suitcase of mine pulling at a blade of grass. _

_"Brooke?" An incredulous voice questioned, I turned around to see the familiar face of my cousin gawking at me in amazement. "Hello Kathryn" I managed a polite smile and stuck out my hand as I stood up dusting off my tennis skirt but to no avail the dirt clumps were stuck to my clothes. Kathryn looked at my hand as if it were poison "Gees Kid Are you for real? And its Kat nobody calls me Kathryn anymore" She laughed sardonically. "But Kat sounds so unwholesome" I sneered in displeasure taking in her apparel. Kathryn was gangly and tall standing at about 5'9 she had on big combat black boots which was her first strike being as that it was the beginning of July, she had on black ratty fishnet stockings that she wore underneath a black pleated skirt that was surely tight enough to show the print of her womanhood, a red and black tattered cut up sleeveless shirt. Her jet black hair was pulled into a bun at the nape of her neck, she wore dark make-up which contrasted poorly against her pale skin, the black mascara and eyeliner she wore around her green eyes made them flash and appear bright, she had a small silver hoop dangling from her small upturned nose, and another one at the bottom of her cranberry red lip-sticked lips. "Yeah whatever look my mom told me to come looking for you she's probably worried to death so lets go" Kat ordered walking off into the street. I stared there in amazement with my arms folded. "Uh is there a problem Princess Brooke?" Kat scoffed sarcastically. "Well aren't you going to help me with my bags?" I stated unbelievably. Kat laughed "No way dude you don't have any maids around here this isn't Newport Harbor around here us mere mortals carry our own stuff" She taunted. "Ergh!"I breathed exasperatedly struggling to lift my bags while she walked I tripped over my things a couple of times further dirtying my clothes before I finally managed to get it right. Kat lead me directly to the dirt-grimed building the cabby had dropped me off in front of confirming my worst fears, I would in fact have to stay here. "This is IT"I spoke disgustedly out loud. "Oh no there just refurnishing the place, duh this is it" Kat mocked me. "You know you don't have to be so sour and unpleasant" I replied cheerily. "Oh god Fuck, this is going to be two long years," Kat muttered unhappily. _

_"Now. Now cousin we should make the best of this I mean this place is a dump but surely we can find something positive in this situation, and it isn't kind to take the lords name in vain or use blasphemy it's very unlady- like" I advised as we entered the lobby of the building. The maroon rugs that swathed the floor were dusty and unclean which caused me to sneeze "This is terrible" I mused as a pang of melancholy washed over me, would I really have to spend my next two years living here? I looked around the building drinking in my surroundings. Inside this building lived my Aunt B and her daughter Kathryn and now me. My parents who were both litigates and worked at the same law firm had both been reassigned to San Moreno a small picturesque suburban neighborhood, they had both been thoroughly excited at first however later on dismayed to find out that San Moreno didn't have a ballet academy and I had been studying ballet for years. I mean my mother had studied ballet and she would've made a career out of it had she not injured her leg her freshman year of college however she'd never given up the dream of being a beautiful graceful ballerina and lived her dreams vicariously through me, every since I was old enough to walk I had been taking ballet, my father thought it a silly irrelevant talent but my mom was firm and persistent in having me take it up. The moment she'd learned I wouldn't be able to do it in San Moreno, and that there were no close cities nearby that I could take it up as well she'd decided we needed to figure something out and it just so happened that I wound up getting my acceptance letter from the top elite ballet academy in the country which happened to be in North Carolina, Mom had immediately decided I would move to Tree Hill Carolina with Aunt B and cousin Kathryn and finish out the rest of high school here and do summers and vacations with her and dad, I wasn't scheduled to leave until mid August but unfortunately training began two days after the fourth of July so I wound up having to come earlier than planned and now here I was. _

_Realizing I couldn't stand there all day I tightened my grip on my bag and slid my carrier suitcases laboriously behind me struggling with the weight of them. Kathryn led me to a gray dingy elevator where we proceeded to wait for the elevator to come. The tense silence between us was so thick and palpable you could've cut it_ _with a knife, it was clear we both disliked and disapproved of one another however to lighten up the mood I attempted striking up conversation. "Nice piercing" I croaked my voice sounding unsteady; my uncertainty must've carried over to Kathryn because she flashed me a sympathetic smile. "Thanks" She mumbled, I was fishing for something else to say when the chiming of the elevator which signaled it had come saved me the embarrassment I silently thanked it for its intrusion. The elevator reeked of urine and some other nondescript smell I pinched my nostrils together trying to block out the smell as I tried not to lean against the spit and airbrush covered walls. There was gang paraphernalia and other blasphemies spray-painted all on the walls which made me nervous what type of place would I be living in? I seriously contemplated calling my parents and having them put me on the first plane back to California. Aunt B stayed on the very last floor which would be a problem being as that I had a serious fear of heights, I made a mental note to add this to the list of reasons I couldn't possibly stay here. Kathryn maneuvered out the elevator once we had reached our floor and down the long hallway, which again smelled of something grotesque and food, someone was cooking something I couldn't discern what it was but whatever it was it smelled great._

_"Home sweet home" Kat said wryly stopping in front of a maroon painted door that read 802 in black stenciled lettering, she banged against the door before darting me an assessing look. I could tell she was checking for my reaction so I made it my business to keep my features schooled and unrevealing I had already been rude enough as it was, and no matter how much I didn't like this place it was still her home. "Coming!" A faint voice yelled from within the apartment I could hear some Elvis Presley playing and some water running, finally Aunt B answered the door a huge grin splitting her face. "Brookey" She cried out enthusiastically causing me to wince at that nickname as she wrapped her fat sausage like arms around my small frame nearly squeezing the life right out of me. Aunt B was about 5'2 and at least 200 she was a very plain woman with horse like features her carrot colored hair and snapping brown eyes were the exact opposite of Kathryn's features, whereas Kathryn could be a potential beauty if she just wore the right clothes and cosmetics there was no hope for Aunt B's homely looks. But what Aunt B lacked in looks she made up for it in personality she had one of the biggest hearts ever and was the kindest woman I'd ever known. I hugged her back awkwardly my parents and I hadn't been big on affection so her flagrant display of it had caught me off guard. "We're so glad to have you" Aunt B gushed pinching my cheeks until they were red. "I'm glad to be here" I managed to lie with a straight face, Kathryn snorted at my words before walking off. "Don't worry about her I'm afraid my daughters a bit spoiled, She's used to being the only one around and now she has to_ _share me. She'll come around eventually though" Aunt B patted my hand consolingly. _

_"She doesn't have to worry about sharing you with me. This isn't my home You're not my mom and you could never take her place" I don't know why I said those words but the hurt look on my aunts face made me want to snatch them back and tell her I was sorry._

_ But I didn't. _

_"Listen Brookey I know I'm not Victoria" She began just hearing her say my mothers name me want to cry as a feeling of nostalgia swept over me. I didn't want to talk about her or my father they were out of my reach and I was stuck in this hellhole for the next two years. "_

_I don't want you to think I'm trying to take her place I could never replace her, it's just that we haven't seen one another in years and I've missed out on so much and I just want to spend this time we have together making up for lost time, I know this isn't what you're used to I suppose we're peasants by some standards, but this is all we have, this and our love for one another and hopefully that'll someday be enough for you because like it or not this is where you'll be spending the next two years" _

_"I'm sorry," I finally told her quietly. _

_She was right. This was where I would be living so I may as well make the best of it. "Call me Brooke, I always hated that name," I said to her as a gesture of friendship, I was going to make the best of this bad situation. _

_"Ok Brooke" She smiled reminiscently "You know I gave you that name right? " I nodded my head on a smile ._

_"Mom tells me that nearly everyday she really misses you, you know". _

_" It's German for Stream, when your mom and I were kids we used to play by this lake not too far from here nearly every day, we had so many ideas and dreams" ._

_She laughed with a faraway look in her eyes. _

_"We could've stayed by that old stream talking for hours, and sometimes we did I remember our mom used to ground us for staying so late some times but we didn't care that stream was magical, just like you_ _Brooke" __Aunt B said flashing me a smile. _

_"Bernadine I'm home!" The door slamming accompanied my uncle Ralph's sudden announcement. A few seconds later he appeared in the doorway I barely had time to react to his presence before Aunt B ran and jumped into his arms which was a bit peculiar looking being as that Uncle Ralph was tall and skinny like Kathryn and it looked like Aunt B's weight could break his lean figure. He hugged her back tightly though hoisting her off the floor and raining her face with kisses, she giggled like a schoolgirl at the display of his love. I felt like an outsider looking in like I was witnessing something private and sacred and as I watched them lovingly gaze at another I momentarily felt like life had_ _cheated me out of parents like Aunt B and Uncle Ralph, My mother and Father had never hugged one another in front of me let alone kiss. I cleared my throat to remind them that I was still standing there. "Oh god where are my manners?" Aunt B said ashamedly as she stood back on her feet "Ralph this is my niece Brooke, Brooke this is your Uncle Ralph" She gestured towards him. He stepped forward and pulled me into a tight embrace, hugging the life out of me "Welcome to the Family" He said gruffly before pulling back. I almost had to do a double-take as I stared at him, he looked so much like Kathryn it was uncanny he was the male replica of her, He was a handsome middle-aged man with black thick hair that was sprinkled with a little gray, riveting kind green eyes that seemed to see right into your soul, and a shade of a mustache above his lips. _

_" Oh dear I forgot my casserole!" Aunt B exclaimed running off into the kitchen while Uncle Ralph helped me haul my luggage into Kathryn's room. Kathryn's had four large red painted walls which were decorated with posters of various rock bands new and old, a large TV a couple of dressers that matched her Victorian style canopy bed which looked really out of place in her room, white carpet, a big radio large speakers and in the corner of one wall was a small canopy bed where I would sleep I suppose. Kathryn who was busying laying on her bed and listening to her portable cd player glanced up at me in acknowledgement and went back to bopping her head along to whatever song she was listening to. Feeling jet-lagged and wearier than I had in a long time I simply relaxed against the flower covered comforter on my bed and drifted off into a brief slumber. I was awakened thirty minutes later by Kathryn who was telling me that dinner was ready, I got up washed my hands before heading to the dining room. I took a seat by Uncle Ralph and gazed down at the tuna casserole that Aunt B had prepared, it looked delicious. "Let us bow our heads in prayer" Aunt B spoke softly grabbing Kathryn's hand, I grabbed Ralph's and we all closed our eyes, head bowed, as Aunt B said a brief prayer. "So how was everyone's day?" Uncle Ralph started the conversation. Truthfully I wasn't used to sitting down at dinner with my parents, I was used to take out or dining with the maid so this was definitely a new experience for me. "Crappy, they suspended Luke again" Kathryn frowned pushing the food around on her plate distractedly who was Luke? "Oh No not again, they need to leave that poor boy alone" Aunt B spoke passionately further inciting my curiosity. "Yeah well Deb's the principal so she gets to do whatever she wants, I swear I think she just sits around thinking of reasons to reprimand him" Kathryn said bitterly. "He's a fine boy it's not his fault he was born on the wrong side of the blanket" Uncle Ralph intervened sternly; apparently this was a topic they were all passionate about. "Yeah well once he moves in with us I'm not going to stand for that type of treatment, Luke is like a son to me, speaking of moving in how's that going is he almost done packing?" Aunt B asked Kathryn. "Yeah almost he's just got a little more stuff to pack up but he said he's most likely just gonna wait until the school year starts back up, plus his moms being a major pain and she wont let him use the station wagon to bring his stuff over, so I was going to ask dad could we borrow the truck" Kathryn replied. "Sure just tell me when you need it and if you guys need any help let me know" Uncle Ralph on a mouthful of casserole his words coming out muffled. "Honey don't talk with your mouth full and his mother is a real piece of work!" Aunt B exclaimed on a grimace. _

_"She's just mad because she wont be able to use him as her human punching bag anymore" Kathryn retorted. The conversation was taking a toll on me and I felt thoroughly confused and still a little tired so I asked to be excused, I heard my aunt and uncle whispering to Kathryn as I walked off. "Why don't you try being a little nicer to her she's new here" Uncle Ralph asked. I rolled my eyes before slamming the door behind laying and me down on the bed, I missed my parents, and I missed home. I sat in the darkness with my thoughts before drifting off into sleep yet again. ; When I awoke it was in the dead of the night and found the space next to me empty I immediately got scared, where was my terrier dog snowflake? I sat upright clutching the sheet to my chest and swung my eyes around the room, it took a few seconds for it to register to me that I wasn't in Newport Harbor and this was my new home, and there would be no more terrier. I laughed aloud at my foolishness before settling back under the covers and attempting to go back to sleep, but I wasn't really tired so I just laid there thinking of all the things I missed back home. I was thinking about this cute guy who used to play tennis at the tennis courts when a loud persistent knock on the window pulled me out of my thoughts. I immediately galvanized into action and dug myself deeply under the covers praying my ears had deceived me, but again the knock came. Where was Kathryn? I pondered as I prayed the assailant would just go away but to no avail, the knocks were louder than ever now. I stealthily slid from underneath the covers onto the floor and searched around on the carpet for something to attack the burglar with, my eyes landed on a steel bat, perfect I thought to myself as I gripped the handle pulling it to me. The Burglar had grown impatient and was now lifting the window up, I could hear the creaky window sliding upward and each creak sound made the hair on the on my neck rise even more. The window was up, he was almost in I had to act now or never, I waited a brief second allowing him to actually get in the room so that when I swung at him I would have a good target. He was in. I gripped the steel bat, let out a war cry like old native-Americans used to do back in the day and went running towards him full force. My eyes were closed out of fear so it was no surprise that I connected with the wall instead of him. _

_"Ouch!" I cried before turning around and trying to hit him again, "Hey what the-" He cried trying to block my angry blows but I was too quick I finally managed to connect with one of knee caps bringing him to his knees. I was just about to swing again when a shrill cry cut me off "Brooke what the hell do you think you're doing?" Kathryn cried snatching the bat out of my hand. "I'm "I began as I watched Kathryn help him to his feet "Saving us from a burglar?" I laughed uneasily I suddenly had the feeling I had made a huge mistake. "Lucas is not a burglar you twit!" Kathryn practically yelled. "Jesus Are you fucking crazy?" The guy named Lucas spat at me trying to catch his breath "You practically took my knees out with that thing!" He raged. "Well how I was supposed to know? And it isn't kind to take the lords name in vain or use blasphemies" I advised sternly. He laughed incredulously turning to Kathryn "Is she for real?" He asked. Kathryn shrugged her shoulders "I'm afraid so" She said like there was no hope for me. Lucas strode over to Kathryn's bedside and clicked on her night lamp revealing his bloody battered face I nearly screamed at the sight of it. "Oh my god Lucas what happened did SHE do this to you?" Kathryn cried running over to him and touching his face. "No I didn't, honest to god," I said quickly, they both looked at me like I was crazy. "Yeah she was drinking again, you know how she gets" Lucas tried to laugh off Kathryn's question but she wasn't buying it. "That woman is a monster! Look at your face" Kathryn gushed softly touching it, Lucas winced. It was hard to make out his features but he had dirty blonde hair from what I could see. "I'm fine" Lucas stated stubbornly. "Lucas you are not fine look at your face come on lets get you cleaned up!" Kathryn exclaimed ushering him out of the room and to the bathroom, I got up clicked off the light and wondered if this was the guy they'd been discussing earlier and if so what was his deal? I lay there drifting off to sleep when I heard them come back in the room. "Listen Lucas why don't you just spend the night here, I don't want you going back to that place" Kathryn counseled. "No I couldn't I-" Lucas started to protest. "I insist Lucas, please" Kathryn begged I could hear the love in her voice and I wondered what exactly was the nature of relationship were they friends? Lovers? From the tone of Kathryn's voice she definitely loved him. " Ok" He sighed giving in, Kathryn fetched him some blankets and covers and he laid on the floor making me feel a bit too uncomfortable, although I hadn't seen him I was still too aware of his presence as a male, finally however I managed to go to sleep wondering what exactly had I gotten myself into. _

**Present **

The shrill sounds of my alarm clock going off broke into my thoughts bringing me back to the present. I sluggishly headed to my bedroom taking out my work uniform, today would be my first day at my job McDonalds and also Reagan's first day at School so I needed to make sure we were both prompt and on time. I stumbled into the shower sleepily the events of last night finally catching up to me and making me weary as ever, bleary eyed I sluiced the hot water down my body in an attempt to wake me up but to no avail, I just wanted to snuggle underneath the covers but that was a luxury I couldn't afford. Once I was done with my bathing rituals I applied the necessary body lotion, and deodorant to myself before heading over to the bed to wake Reagan up. I gazed down at her for a moment though, she looked so much like Lucas it was uncanny she had his gorgeous blond locks, and eyes, she even had his cute little nose, there was no denying she was his child she looked like a miniature little him.

I was surprised to find her still sleep however being as that Rachel and I had made such a commotion last night that and the fact that Reagan usually woke up before me. Then again she'd had a cold last night and she' d been up sneezing and coughing for a while so maybe the cold was causing her to sleep more heavily. I retrieved her cold medicine a tablespoon and then walked back in the room in an attempt to wake her. The moment I touched her skin I immediately knew something was wrong, her skin was hot and scalding like it had fire underneath it and her breathing was coming out labored then rapid. "Mommy I don't feel good," She told me blinking open sleepy eyes. I felt her forehead and back before going for a thermometer to take her temperature, Her temperature was 100 degrees and I immediately began crying once I read it, oh god my child was sick! Something was severely wrong.

I tried not to panic as I read the thermometer but I couldn't help it, Reagan was all I had left and I couldn't afford to lose her, not now. I forced myself to pull it together before saying in a modulated tone "Open your mouth for mommy sweetie" Her glands didn't appear to be swollen, however still her temperature was too high. "I don't feel good" She repeated again trying to lie back down but I forced her to sit up I didn't know what was wrong and I couldn't have her falling sleep especially being as that there was a chance she would never wake back up. "What hurts sweetie?" I asked. "My chest it feels like I cant breathe" She sniffed and began crying, I nearly cried with her no mother wants to see their child suffering but I had to be strong for her if I panicked she would as well and that would only serve to make things worst. As I watched her chest move in and out rapidly trying to conserve some air into her thin frame I knew I was way out of my league, so I immediately bundled up her coat and shoes, carried her in my arms and was on the first bus to the hospital. Halfway to the hospital her fever had climbed and she was breathing even more rapidly, I was scared out of my mind as I watched her cry, I didn't know what to do so I pulled my cell out and called Rachel. "Hello?" Rachel answered hesitantly. "Hey Rachel its Brooke listen Reagan's really sick and I don't know what to do, I'm so scared- "I talked rapidly as tears began falling down my cheek. "Oh my god ok calm down sweetie where are you now?" Rachel asked firmly. "I'm almost at the hospital" I whimpered touching my hand to Reagan's forehead to see that her fever had indeed picked up. "What's she doing now?" Rachel quipped. "She's falling asleep she was just crying a minute ago" I replied. "NO MAKE SURE SHE DOESN'T GO TO SLEEP, I'M ON MY WAY! WHEN YOU GET TO THE HOSPITAL ASK FOR DR.CRAWFORD OK?" She ordered I nodded silently before hanging up. When we got to the hospital Rachel, Reagan and I waited for nearly 3 hours before we could finally see a doctor by then I was near hysteria and on the brink of a conniption, Reagan had nearly fell asleep 3 times and I was at my wits end. When we finally saw a doctor I was tensed and nervous as he examined her and when he touched her bare chest with his cold stethoscope I cried out with her. I was practically feeling what my child felt. I couldn't help the tears that came to my eyes when she began to cry, no mother wanted to see her child suffering. Finally when he was done he allowed me to dress her and then turned to tell me his diagnosis. "Your daughter is very Ill Ms. Davis," He said in a grave tone as he turned to me, his words nearly turning my bones into jelly. "I'm afraid she's been diagnosed with what we call Rheumatic Fever and Rheumatic Heart disease, which is a systemic inflammatory disease which is most cases familial meaning she must've had an alternate host or- "I know what it is my grandmother died from it" I sniffed as tears brimmed in my eyes. "Yes well apparently the disease skipped a couple generations and now your child has it, fortunately Ms Davis we detected the disease early on so with the proper care and treatment we can reduce the reoccurrence of rheumatic fever and alleviate all prospects of permanent cardiac damage we- "And how much is all this going to cost?" I cut him off tears sliding down my face, I didn't have the type of money to pay for her medicine, which was very expensive because I remember my grandmother having said as much, so what now? Would my child die? "Well since she's a minor your medical insurance should cover all her costs- "I don't have insurance," I whimpered causing Dr. Crawford to go silence. "Is she's gonna die?" I sniffed "Ms Davis I- " Is she going to die?" I repeated. "Well most patients with this rare disease who aren't treated properly usually live no more than 10 years" He said solemnly, I blacked out at that point. I don't remember anything just crying, all I could see was myself having to bury my child, and no parent should ever have to bury his or her child. I slid down to the floor and had my second breakdown in 2 days. Before I knew what was even happening Rachel was on the floor crying with me and rocking me back and forth. "It's ok Brooke I'm not going to let her die" She promised her voice full of conviction, but as sure as she sounded her eyes looked scared and unconfident, because deep down inside even she knew that was a promise that she couldn't keep. I didn't want my daughter to die. "Brooke look at me" Rachel whispered, I focused my gaze on her looking into her green eyes. "Brooke you've got to tell Lucas". Thanks for reading! And please comment; remember comments are 3


	4. One Way Or Another

**Authors Note: This is a LONG add to compensate for the time I haven't been updating! FLASHBACKS are in italic. Also this chapter pretty much explains EVERYTHING why Brooke returned to tree hill, why she left, so just read and enjoy!! Also I apologize for any mistakes I didn't have the time to PROOFREAD.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in One Tree Hill.**_

**Chapter Four: One Way or Another**

_One way or another I'm gonna find you _

_I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha_

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The next day started out like all the others before it had, disastrous. I woke up with a migraine and my body stiff with pain from having slept in the uncomfortable hospital chair, to find the Doctor looming over me. His presence seemed to carry an aura of dread and before he even spoke a word I already knew he was here to deliver some bad news. "Is something wrong?" I yawned blinking sleepy eyes open to focus on him. His facial features were disgruntled and he opened his mouth as if to say something before clamping it back shut "I –uh" He trailed staring at the spot on the wall behind my head, his eyes flitting nervously around the room. When he didn't instantly attempt to speak again I immediately assumed the worst, I galvanized into action jumping out my chair and scanning the room with my wild panic-filled eyes. "Where is she?" I shouted at the doctor, the tears blurring my vision and making everything appear hazy and unfocused.

"Ms. Davis will you please calm down-"He attempted to pacify my jumbled nerves but I was too wired and my nerves too raw. "Don't you fucking tell me to calm down where is my child?" I howled poking my finger to his brawny chest "Ms. Davis if you would just listen" He tried to placate me once again but by now I was pass the point of calming down and before I knew it I was pushing his chest violently and demanding that I see my child, but even as I ordered the words I trembled violently because deep down inside I just knew she was dead, what other reason would there be for her to not be in her bed? I didn't rationalize I just felt, and what I was feeling was the worst type of pain that could've existed; it was a sting that only a mothers love could identify with.

"Mommy" A child giggled happily causing my heart to skip a beat, I whirled around on my feet to see my daughter smiling, her cheeks ruddy and blooming of health, and a doll stuck underneath her arm, it was as if she'd never been sick. "Come here" I rasped my voice scratchy and rough with emotion, she ran over to me and I opened my arms to receive her small frame, hugging and squeezing her and not ever wanting to let go. "I don't understand" I said looking up at the doctor.

"Well Ms. Davis your child has a very rare disease, they'll be days like yesterday , and then days like today when she seems perfectly fine and healthy, but she isn't, she's still very sick. Now I've prescribed some drugs for her to take, but those drugs can only do so much, as I stated yesterday she'll need special types of pills to help her case, which will require money or healthcare" He stressed the word money. I blocked out the rest of his words willing my brain to not think about what was inevitable, I would just have to come up with something and until then I just wanted to enjoy this moment this feeling. I hugged Reagan once more before getting up to go and sign her release forms. As we left the hospital she chattered away swinging our interlaced fingers back and forth.

"Did you hear me mommy?" She asked exasperatedly , she was getting frustrated that I wasn't paying attention to her but I couldn't bring myself to stop thinking about my funds or lack of them should I say. "Yes baby I'm listening" I lied and then gave her a bright smile to appease her hurt feelings.

"Then what did I say?"She shot back her eyebrows raised in inquiry, I combed my brain trying to think of at least one word she had said but I couldn't. "See I knew it!" She exclaimed smacking her lips before pouting them and folding her arms."I'm sorry baby mommy has a lot on her mind, now what is it that you wanted to tell me?"

"I was SAYING "She stressed with a comedic roll of eyes "That sally says her mommy is going to let her go to a conshirt" She gave a petulant look.

"It's concert, and why is sally's mom letting a 5 year old go to a concert" I queried with distaste , I hated parents that allowed their children to partake in adult activities , in my opinion that was bad parenting, it was like smoking and drinking with your kids.

"Mommy can I pwease pwease pwease go?"She begged widening her blue eyes and perfecting the puppy dog look, "No Reagan you know how I feel about things like that" I remarked sternly.

"That's not fair! Sally gets to go "She retorted peevishly.

"And if sally jumped off a bridge would you do it?" I asked

"No"

"Exactly" I said causing her to look confused at what had just transpired, she didn't understand now but one day she'd understand that it was important to have her own mind and her own opinion abut things, and trying to do what sally did definitely was going to help accomplish that.

"Whose concert is it anyway?"I questioned trying to change the subject.

"Only the coolest guy ever, Scotty Skulls" She gushed gleefully causing me to gasp aloud at the name.

"How do you know who that is?" I harped.

"I saw him on MTV" She answered hesitantly with a fearful look in her eyes. I sighed willing myself to calm down, it wasn't her fault it was as if she knew that Scotty Skulls was really Lucas Scott, her father.

"Listen to me honey, Scotty Skulls is a very bad man and I don't want you watching him on T.V anymore ok?"

"Yes mommy" She replied.

Silence settled over us as I looked out the bus we were riding into the scenery, absorbed in my thoughts.

"Why is he a bad man?" Reagan wanted to know, I should've known I couldn't tell her something and that just be that, she was too curious a child.

"Because he just is sweetie, he's not very nice"

"But how do YOU know he's not very nice, was he mean to you?" Reagan persisted.

Tears clouded my vision at her soft inquiry "No babe he wasn't always mean to me, he used to be very nice, now he's really mean" I choked out bitterly.

"Well if he's mean to you then he has to be mean to me" Reagan grumbled with a scowl, puffing her tiny chest out. I laughed before mussing her hair up and kissing her on the cheek "I love you pretty girl" I sighed softly into her ear. "Love you too mommy" She responded before giving me a big hug which nearly caused me to cry again, I couldn't ever imagine not having her around, she was all I had left, all that kept me going, and I just knew that I had to find some way out of my financial situation, and it couldn't involve Lucas, he'd never understand. He wasn't the Lucas Scott I'd fallen in love with, he was now Peyton Sawyers fiancé and more importantly, he was Skulls Scotty.

"I don't believe this!"I cried out in dismay as the manager of McDonalds turned his burly back to me, I contemplated jumping on his fat greasy ass but had to remind myself that my child was with me. He'd just told me that I was fired. FIRED!

I hadn't even started and already I was fired, I had tried to explain to him that the reason I had missed work was because my child had got sick, but do you think he cared? Nope! Now here I was sinking even lower in my sea of debt and financial hardship.

"You PRICK"I yelped angrily before marching out the restaurant with my child in tow.

"Mommy what's a prick?" Reagan wanted to know. "Something that you have no business saying, it's not a very nice word "I explained.

"Good because he's not a very nice man" Reagan said causing me to erupt into laughter. "No that he isn't" I agreed while fishing around in my tattered purse for a couple of dollars. Scrounging up a few lousy dollars I stopped at a little hot dog joint and brought Reagan a hot dog, some fries and a juice. My stomach protested to the emptiness as I stared at her wolfing down the hot dog, I hadn't had enough money to buy us both something to eat and Id starve a thousand meals before my child went hungry, still I was hoping she'd at least leave some bread, or a fry, but Reagan polished off the whole meal without so much as blinking an eye.

By the time she was done eating my mood was sour and my stomach seemed to be battling Reagan for conversation that's how loudly it was growling, every once in a while she'd stop in mid-conversation to giggle and ask what that loud noise was, I was too embarrassed to tell her I was hungry, my plight was something her childish mind would never comprehend. When we arrived in our proverbial ghetto neighborhood it was to find some old lady being robbed by a group of kids, my heart sped up in fear as I watched them run off with her purse and prayed that they didn't notice us.

Fortunately Reagan and I went unnoticed and seemed to melt into the shadows of the night as the kids ran off laughing, "Mommy why did they take that ladies purse?" Reagan asked.

"Because their very bad little kids, don't ever be like that "I muttered disgustedly. "Why didn't that lady fight back?" Reagan asked.

"Well she's elderly and she probably couldn't fight back, but if ever someone is assaulting you I want you to fight back" I warned her.

"What's elderly and assaulting mean?"

"Elderly is when you're old, and when you get old you get tired and you cant do the things you once did when you were young which is what you are, because you're young you're very energetic and you can do lots of things, assaulting is when someone attacks you"

"How do you fight back?"

"Well you can try to fight back with your hands and legs, but if it's a man you should pick up whatever you see and hit him with it"

"You mean Like that bad man on TV Skulls Scotty?"Reagan asked.

"Yep"I responded before really thinking about the question, I mean it wasn't like she was going to see Lucas any time soon right?

It was a little after seven when we finally made it home, I ran some bath water for Reagan and proceeded to clean up my little hovel of a house while listening to some gospel music, it was very soothing and therapeutic and helped me to clear my mind. "Mommy there's no bubbles!" Reagan complained as I lowered her naked body into the lukewarm bathwater.

"We don't have money for bubbles" I scoffed angrily, I wasn't particularly angry at her just the situation.

Reagan quieted and sat morosely in the bathwater causing me to feel guilty, I had been a little snappish at her all day but it was only because I had a lot on my mind, I felt really bad and felt that I needed to apologize with more than just words. I walked into the kitchen and retrieved the dish liquid, 

it wasn't the best but it was something, without a word I squirted the liquid into Reagan's bath water and swished the water around, causing a couple of bubbles to appear.

"See Bubbles" I said quietly.

Reagan giggled at the pathetic bubbles forming in the water, before I knew it we were both laughing uncontrollably that was when the sound of the doorbell jolted me out of mirth. "I wonder who that could be" I mused aloud before walking to the door to find out for myself.

"Who is it?" I called out.

"It's Haley" My whole body tensed up at the recognition of the name, I hadn't spoke to her since I had fled Tree Hill all those years ago, and we had left off on bitter terms, mixed feelings welled up inside of me as I recalled the argument we'd had.

"_So you're just going to leave him?" Haley cried out in distress her eyes puffy and red from having cried all night._

"_I can't stay" I mumbled weakly hurriedly stuffing my clothes into the suitcase._

_  
"Brooke please just think about this, we can get through this together, I'm sure my parents won't mind helping you out, you don't have to stay with them, your Aunt B she'll help- Haley tried to rationalize, but I was pass the point of logic, I was hysterical and terrified. My parents had just found that I was pregnant and were threatening to kick me out if I kept it, or worst they were going to have him put in jail._

"_ARGH just shut up already! I have to go OK?" I shot back angrily at Haley pushing her violently against my dresser causing my bottles of perfume and lotion to fall onto the carpet with loud thud sounds._

"_Brooke please don't do this, he'll hate you forever" Haley sobbed the tears streaming down her face now._

"_And if I get him put in prison you don't think he'll hate me then? When he's sitting behind bars with no chance of bail or parole you don't think he'll hate me hunh!"I screamed the hot tears flooding down my cheeks as I struggled to control my raging emotions, but I couldn't, every part of my emotional strings had been plucked and played like a harp._

"_They won't put him in prison, it was consensual , its not like he really raped you , your aunt will help you to fight this , and my dad you know he's a good lawyer-"Haley attempted but I cut her off._

"_It doesn't matter Haley! I'm a minor and in the eyes of the law that's called statutory rape, and with the influence of my parents money they'll make sure he's locked up forever! I can't live with that Haley , maybe you can but I'd rather die than send Lucas to a place like that, I love him too much" I protested fiercely the tears flowing in abundance as I struggled to zip up one of my suitcases screaming I kicked it in a frustration._

_Why hadn't Haley just left when I'd told her? We'd been sitting in my room watching music videos and giggling about girl stuff when my parents had appeared in my doorway, it was evident by the frowns on their faces that something was very wrong. I was confused at first because they' just moved back to Tree Hill and earlier that day we'd all enjoyed a family outing at the mall, I thought things were good between us , I had really missed them but obviously something was wrong._

"_Haley I think you should leave we need to talk to Brooke" My mother demanded sternly. Haley had immediately gathered her things and fled the room, I thought she was gone. The moment the front door had closed my parents began their tirade._

_They told me how they had found my pregnancy test in the trash can in my bathroom, how they knew I had been sneaking around with that older guy who was nothing but a junkie and a drug addict, they told me that if I didn't get an abortion that they would throw me out and have him put in jail._

_I cried, I screamed, I shouted, I tried to explain that I was in love with him and that he would do the right thing and marry me, but more importantly I stressed that I wanted to keep this baby. They called me stupid, said he wasn't good enough for me and told me that my only alternative was an abortion and if I didn't get it then they'd make sure he was put behind bars for life and that I was on the streets with my baby. _

"_I'll just go back to Aunt B's house" I retorted nastily through my sea of tears._

"_And we'll tell the cops about the illegal practice Uncle Ralph does, and he'll rot in Jail with Lucas" My parents threatened. I tried to argue but they were set in their opinions, they didn't want me with Lucas, and they didn't want me having a baby. "Now we'll leave you to think about this, by the time we get back you'd better have an answer as to what you're going to do about this" My mother ordered before leaving out with my father._

_I collapsed onto my bed my chest heaving violently as I cried into my lacy pillow, the soft sound of footfalls caused me to jerk up but instead of finding my parents, It was Haley who stared back at me her expression haunted and agonized. "What are you going to do?" She immediately asked, I knew without having to ask she'd overheard the conversation. With a stoic expression I told her I was going to get rid of it and then run away. I watched her face as the emotions played across her features, shock, outrage, anger. I wanted to tell her so badly that when I went to the clinic I wasn't really going to abort the baby, but if I told her that then she'd tell Lucas and he'd come after me, and so would my parents. I had to protect Lucas from them, and more importantly had to protect my baby from them, the only alternative was to leave._

_Haley and I had began arguing and now here we were, standing on opposite sides of an invisible fence, a barrier so solid between us that I just knew we'd never be able to get pass this. She could never understand where I was coming from, she wasn't in my position._

"_Please don't do this Brooke, just think about what you're doing" Haley gave it one more try._

"_I've thought about it, I have to do this" I replied without any feeling._

"_Then I'm telling Lucas" She said getting up abruptly, I moved fast to run in front of her and block her from getting out the door._

_  
"Haley, no please, you can't "I pleaded._

"_Why not, he has a right to know what you're doing" Haley countered angrily, although we were best friends her first loyalty was to Lucas and I could tell she was pissed for him._

"_Because if you tell him you and I both know he's going to come after me, I don't want that" I struggled to rationalize with her._

"_He loves you do you know that?" Haley cried tears began flowing down her cheeks once again._

_I hardened my face, until gradually it looked as though I didn't care about her statement "I don't care I have to do this for me"._

_Haley's shock was evident as she gazed back at me unbelievably "You don't deserve him" She sneered a mask of coldness settling over her distraught features._

"_I know "I said softly._

"_Get out my way, you disgust me Brooke Davis" She laughed sardonically._

"_Wait are you going to tell him?" I asked fearfully.  
_

"_No, but only because it'd kill him" She spat before marching out the room causing me to sigh in relief. The moment the front door slammed I hauled my suitcases to the front door and called a cab. When the cab arrived I jumped into it, and never looked back. I couldn't afford to._

With a deep sigh I pressed my forehead against the door, before moving to open it. Haley and Nathan stood out in the dirt-grimed hallway shining like two new pennies in their expensive garments. Both of their clothes were tailored and cut from the finest cloth and you could tell they were out of place in the trash loitered hallway of mine.

"Nathan, Haley" I spoke my voice coming out strained and hoarse, I sounded beat up and I knew I probably looked the part as well, it had been a long day and it seemed to be stretching by the seconds.

"Brooke" They chimed cheerfully in unison, it didn't take a rocket scientist to deduce that they were either together, or married.

"It's been a while" Nathan attempted some conversation; I gazed at him awkwardly taking in his appearance, like Peyton he seemed to have gotten better with time. He had been handsome in our youth but now his features were utterly arresting, Haley looked beautiful as well which was unbelievable because back in our days I had always thought her a bit frumpy, but now she looked lithe and glamorous and I hated her for it. Unlike Nathan who was cheerful and inviting Haley clung to his arm tightly her expression guarded, and her mouth drew tightly together. This woman was nothing like the teenaged nerd that used to tutor dumb jocks, instead she was elegant, beautiful, wealthy and composed and she made me feel insecure. My hands flew to my hair insecurely as I tried to smooth down some unkempt strands, but I knew no matter what I did I'd still look terrible.

"Can we come in?" Nathan suggested with a forced enthusiasm trying to keep the distaste he felt from showing on his features. _Why were they here?_

"Sure" I spoke words I didn't mean before stepping back to let them in "Welcome to my humble abode "I spoke dryly. When they walked past me I glimpsed at Nathan to check and see if his forced cheeriness was there, as predicted it wasn't. He definitely hid his shock at where I lived better than Haley did, there were no outward displays of disgust, but it was still there lurking beneath the surface, and if anyone knew how to look for it, I did, it was a emotion that had been targeted at me for years and had become very familiar to me, it was the same look I'd seen in my parent eyes when they'd discovered I was pregnant. The same look Haley had given me when I'd told her I was running away, 

the look people gave me whenever they saw how young a parent I was, disgust could've been my middle name, that's how familiar it was to me.

When they were in I locked the door behind them and turned to face them, they were both standing look as uncomfortable as I felt.

Haley's eyes flitted around the small dirty space of my apartment, her shoulders hunched together as if trying to draw herself into some protective shell of clearness so that none of my dirt rubbed off on her expensive clothes, and Nathan draped an assuring arm around her shoulder as if to calm her down, like she was weathering some major storm, their actions pissed me off and made me debate kicking them out.

"You can sit you know" I told them with a wry smile that I didn't really feel, I wanted to say _you can get the fuck out _but I held my tongue. Haley sniffed before looking down at my old brown loveseat as if to examine it for cleanliness "The chair is old but it's clean. The cushions won't stain your expensive clothes" I saw Haley flush in embarrassment as she sat gingerly on the sofa clutching her small Gucci clutch bag in her hand, Nathan followed her lead.

"So how's things" Haley asked her eyes flitting round my living room/kitchen.

"Take a look around and you tell me" I folded my arms. The sofa was the only furniture in the living room and the occupied it, so I had to stand.

"You look good" She said with a smile and I nodded. It was blatant lie and we both knew it, I looked terrible and I hated her for making me think about that. Matter of fact I resented their intrusion and their expensive clothes that reminded me of how much they had and how much I didn't. I took a deep breath and told myself to relax before I lost it.

"Thanks so do you" I told her with a wide smile I wasn't really feeling.

"So the reason Haley and I came by was because we wanted to invite you to our wedding and to Lucas's birthday party" Nathan cleared his throat in attempt to ease the tension.

"Wedding?" I lifted my brows; I had assumed that they were already married.

"Yes we're getting married next month, and I- well we" Haley began looking over to Nathan and smiling before continuing "were wondering if you were consider being in the wedding party, one of my bridesmaids bailed out on me at the last moment and I- I mean we- "She glanced at Nathan once again with a sugary filled smile "would like it if you were my bridesmaid, we'll pay you" Haley finished.

"Have you, I mean YOU guys lost your mind, I haven't spoken to you in years and you have the nerve to show up at my door step with your fancy clothes, and ask such a favor of me?" I laughed incredulously.

"Now wait- "Nathan began but I flashed up a hand to cut him off.

"No you wait; I don't need you I mean YOU guys or your charity "I flung at them. It was obvious Rachel had told them about how I was living and they had rushed over here in an attempt to help me out, I knew that I was being ridiculous being as that Reagan needed that money but I refused to grovel and accept charity.

"Brooke we're not offering charity we just wanted to ask you a favor" Nathan tried to conciliate me I opened my mouth to protest but he was quicker "Just because you left us doesn't mean we ever stopped being your friends you cut us off, not the other way around" He said petulantly finally giving away to some form of emotion, I was beginning to think that smile was permanently plastered on his face. I sighed deeply feeling guilty at how defensive I had become over basically nothing, it wasn't their fault they were well off and that I wasn't , maybe Rachel hadn't told them about my plight, I took another deep breath and willed myself to calm down.

"Congratulations "I finally spoke with a smile.

"So you'll do it?" Haley asked gleefully I shook my head and without a word she squealed and ran over to me giving me a hug.

"I'm glad you consented to being in my wedding" She told me before sitting back down next to Nathan.

"So how many in the bridal party "I tried to make conversation to lighten the mood it was evident that both were ill at ease. My endeavor proved successful when Haley's face lit up in excitement before she began chattering away.

"I have five bridesmaid and groomsmen, a flower girl, a ring bearer, and then there's the maid of honor and the best man"

"Sounds good" I nodded.

"We were originally planning to have it in June because I wanted a summer wedding but the wedding was pushed up – She hesitated before looking over at Nathan after I guess what was confirmation she continued "Because I'm pregnant" She told me with a small smile.

"That's great I'm happy for you" I told her with a smile so wide and glass like I thought it would crack my face.

"I know its short notice but like I told you, I'm willing to pay for anything you need"

"Haley I told you how I felt about that already" I started before shooting Nathan a quick look embarrassed that she would start this in front of him, what would he tell Lucas?

"Brooke stop it already, you're being ridiculous!"

"I'm being ridiculous because I don't want your charity?" I asked getting incensed "Why must that make me ridiculous?"

"Because you obviously need it!" She shouted her words causing me to see red "Look at this place it's a dump!" She continued and I counted to ten before responding so that when I did it wouldn't be in a yell I didn't want to worry Reagan.

"I'm sorry you find me ridiculous tutor girl" I stressed the word tutor with a sneer I knew it was a childish low blow but I was upset "But this is my place, and it may be a dump but at the end of the day its still mine and I want you to get out "I ordered coldly. Without waiting for a reply I went to search for Reagan she had been too quiet and I wanted to make sure she was all right. I found her lying on her stomach in the bed flipping idly through a story book. I knew seeing them and allowing them to come here would be a mistake, I just knew it.

"Mommy can you read me this story?" She asked excitedly nearly stuffing the book in my face.

"Sure let me see" I moved to grab the book "Who's that?" She asked curiously her gaze directed at point over my shoulder and I turned to find Nathan standing in my doorway looking shocked and uncomfortable.

"So this is your daughter, this is my first time seeing her" Nathan said quietly.

"Yeah " I replied , I had deliberately keeping her hidden from prying eyes for many reasons, I sat there praying here didn't make the connection between her and Lucas, but Nathan was too keen and besides she was the spitting image of her father.

"I heard Rachel talking about her but I never made the connection" He said in a stunned voice "I mean I thought you had hooked up with another guy afterwards and had a kid but- "He continued to stare at Reagan in disbelief.

"Of course you didn't I mean I was sleeping with everybody right" I said snidely recalling an incident in high school that had once occurred.

"_You think you're so much better than everybody Brooke Davis but the truth is I see you for what you are" Nathan scoffed dribbling his ball angrily. I continued to wave my pom poms around in an attempt to ignore him. Nathan was pissed because he'd been unsuccessfully trying to hit on me all year and he'd seen me with Lucas at the ice cream parlor the day before. I tried to ignore him praying he wouldn't tell my secret in front of everyone, and Lucas and I were indeed a secret._

_If anyone found out I was dating Lucas Scott my reputation would be torn to shreds, and I would be ruined for good._

"_You don't see anything, you think that was something I date plenty of guys he's just a passing fancy" I lied hoping that if Nathan thought Lucas was irrelevant or inconsequential to me he wouldn't make trouble for me. Nathan had simply laughed off my comment and walked off._

_Later on that day an angry Lucas had approached me hurling accusations at me, telling me how Nathan had told him I was practically doing the whole basketball team, it had taken everything in me not to physically inflict damage upon Nathan but I explained to Lucas what had happened and after a little pacifying he was calm and we were past Nathan's silly accusations. But I had never forgiven Nathan for his dirty little trick, and apparently he'd never forgave me for not wanting him because after that he made it his business to tell every guy in Tree Hill that I was easy and that everyone had lain with me. _

"I didn't mean it like that "He started apologetically "Whatever Nathan you tried to make my life a living hell" I scoffed. "That was high school, I was a dick, and I'm sorry" He spoke contritely.

"It doesn't matter" I shook my head with annoyance.

"She looks so much like him it's uncanny" Nathan spoke into the silence as he moved into the room and sat on the edge of the bed "Hi Reagan" He said cheerily.

"Hi" She answered back with a friendly wave. She'd never been wary of strangers and she was a very 

friendly and personable child. Reagan soon forgot his presence and got back to reading her book every once in a while though she would peep over her book and smile at him.

"Haley didn't mean it like that you know" Nathan said after a while, after he'd gotten over his initial shock at seeing Reagan.

"What she forgot to talk for herself" I retorted commenting on the fact of how she always seemed to let him speak for her or required his approval for speaking.

"She doesn't understand why you won't let her help you. You're struggling Brooke"

"So what Nathan you make it sound like a crime or something, it's my struggle so neither of you should concern yourselves with it."

"I'm concerned because my niece is involved "He said pointedly.

"Reagan is just fine , she has a roof over her head, clothes on her back and food in her stomach she's not struggling we may not have the best but we manage" I countered.

"Brooke would you please just listen to yourself you're being ridiculous I understand you have pride, but pride doesn't feed an empty stomach! And what about Reagan is your pride going to feed her empty stomach too? You need to pull your head out your ass and start thinking in terms of what's best for the child, and a child needs better than this- "He stopped to look around the small dingy bedroom.

"You don't know what my child needs! You have no idea what its like to be a mother, the struggle I have to go through on a daily basis so don't you for one second even think you can come in here and start lecturing me on how to be a parent" I argued getting angry, I glanced at a confused Reagan and made myself calm down.

"Brooke cut the shit okay you act as though you're the only woman in the world who's a single parent you're not the first woman to have a child and you won't be the last so don't you give me that bull about how hard it is, It's hard I understand that much, but you're not even trying to make it easier on yourself, you'd rather have your pride" He stressed the word pride with a sneer.

"I never said I was the only woman in the world going through this, but whoever else is out there going through this isn't here now okay! I've lost my job, my child is sick and could possibly die, I don't even have money to buy myself a hot dog, let alone pay this months rent, so whoever else is out there doing it , their damn sure the least of my concerns" I retorted.

Nathan's facial features softened "Listen Brooke I know it's hard but I want to help, I'm not offering charity I just want to help take care of my niece, if you wont do it for yourself, do it for your child, but you have to want it first Brooke, it starts with you" Nathan said.

"Just think about it Brooke, Come stay with us for two weeks, we'll help find you a better job and apartment and if you don't like it you can leave no questions asked, you don't have to give me an answer now but if you change your mind here's my card" Nathan placed a small white card on the edge of the bed before disappearing out of the room.

When the door closed I was still shaking at what had just happened "Are you ok Mommy?" Reagan asked touching her hand to my arm and bringing me out of my stupor. "No" I replied weakly.

"Was he another bad man?" Reagan asked innocently.

"No, I'm a bad mommy" I responded the tears clouding my vision. What was I going to do?

The persistent sounds of heavy knocking sliced into my deep slumber and caused me to awake with a stir; noting that it was 6 in the morning I groaned before I slipped into my ratty old bathrobe and padded down the small hallway to the door to see who on gods earth could be knocking on my door like that.

"This better be good" I snarled before opening the door to find my fat little squatty landlord leering at me. Percival Henley was a fat disgusting old man who stood at about 5'0 weighing about 200 pounds, and didn't seem to believe in brushing his teeth.

He bared his yellow teeth at me in what was an attempt to be a smile before talking "I've come to collect this months rent, in which you're late" He added with a look of distaste.

"I- I don't have it" I whispered quietly.

"Excuse me what was that" He said loudly with a perverted smile , I knew he'd heard me but the perverse side in him wanted me to repeat myself, he loved torturing me and embarrassing me.

"I don't have it" I repeated loudly, "Well Ms. Davis just because you can't pay with money doesn't mean you cant pay , arrangements can always be made" He winked suggestively touching my cheek with his slimy dirty hands, I nearly jumped back in revulsion.

"No way" I hissed.

"Well then I'm afraid I'm just going to have to evict you, you have 3 days to come up with your rent and if you haven't got it by then you and your child are out of here" He sneered before waddling away.

I slammed the door shut and went to make me a pot of the only thing we seemed to have in abundance, which was tea. The pot was whistling and signaling that the water was done boiling when another series of persistent knocks started; I just knew it was my landlord coming to harass me again.

"For the last time Henley –"I started to say but immediately shut my mouth when I opened the door to find no one there. I stepped out into the hallway clutching my robe together tightly as I stared around trying to figure out who had been there.

A flash of white caught my eye, I gazed down at a white envelope that had Brooke scrawled sloppily across it. My heart nearly dislodged itself out of my chest at I recognized the sloppy handwriting, it belonged to that of my ex boyfriend. He was the reason I had moved back to Tree Hill in the first place.

When I had first arrived in New York nearly 6 in a half years ago, he'd helped me to move into an apartment, paid my bills, brought things for Reagan, he'd been a really decent guy. The only thing was I wasn't interested in him, I was still too in love with Lucas and too enraptured with being a new parent to focus on any thing else. Mark had continued to remain calm and patient and had continued 

on with helping me out, about a year ago I decided to finally give things a try I mean I loved how great he was with Reagan and besides I grew tired of lonely nights.

A simple kiss was all it took for me to know Mark wasn't right for me. Still I continued on with the façade of our relationship never letting him go pass kissing and groping, like any man Mark had grown restless with not making sexual progress. He knew I was still in love with Lucas, although he wasn't there in the physical sense he could still sense the presence of another male dominating what he thought was his property , and like any territorial man he didn't like it , not one bit.

Mark stopped paying for things, and when he did he basically became useless to me. I knew it was wrong having bartered my kisses in exchange for money, but I was willing to do anything to take care of Reagan even if it meant having to kiss a toad like Mark. Once things had changed with Mark I had attempted to break things off, and he'd went berserk, he broke into my house trashed the place. Followed me everywhere I went, I got a restraining order on him but even that small piece of paper wasn't enough to sustain him. Finally things had got out of hand when he showed up to Reagan's daycare and picked her up, I had got there expecting to find my child only to be told she'd already been picked up by her father. I panicked imagining that some pedophile had grabbed her, as my mind raced with wild possibilities Mark called my phone telling me he had Reagan. He said that this time he was going to be nice about the situation but that if I didn't come to my senses and soon I or my child wouldn't be so lucky next time. That night I packed my things and fled New York, it wasn't as if Mark knew where I was from all he knew was that I once lived in North Carolina. I had left three months ago, and now he had found me.

My hands trembled violently as I opened the white envelope. I cried out in despair at the chilling words that were scrawled in red across the white paper "IM GOING TO KILL YOU" I immediately ran into my apartment and put all locks on the door.

What was I going to do now? I had to get out of here for the sake of my child, and suddenly Nathan's offer didn't seem so preposterous. With a sigh I made my way to the bedroom to grab his card. It was all I had left. Maybe staying with them wouldn't be so bad after, besides it's not like I had a choice.

**Remember comments are LOVE! No replies, no update! Simple as that.**


	5. The Misery That Becomes US

I wrote this chapter in haste so I do apologize for the errors you may find. Also I will be updating more frequently maybe twice a week. I just hate to go so long without updating that the readers nearly forget what the story is about.

Oh and thanks for the reviews :)

Chapter 5

The misery that becomes Us

I sat in brooding silence for what seemed like hours, my mind heavily consumed with so many factors It felt as if at any moment it would shut down from the exhaustion of overuse, a serious migraine was beginning to form from having thinking so much but still I couldn't bring myself to stop worrying. "Mommy?"Reagan's voice called out to me with uncertainty, her tone of voice seemed to mirror the indecision of my thoughts and standpoint in life period. She called out to me again but was once again greeted with chilly silence, I knew I was being unfair to her, but I felt so weak and drained that I wasn't sure I had anything left to give her, I was tired in every way a person could be and the evidence of that was more than apparent in my features. Worry lines bracketed around my eyes and mouth, I looked tired and haggard and much older than my years, I felt older too. "Reagan baby please, Mommy will be with you in a minute" I croaked my voice cracking with emotion. I peered over my shoulder to look into her confused sad eyes trying to offer her a smile. But the tension was so palpable that even she understood something was wrong. She gave me one last look as if wanting to come to me but not really knowing how before her shoulders slumped in defeat as she walked slowly back to the bedroom, each step grating on my already raw nerves and making me feel terribly guilty.

I wanted to go to her and tell her that it wasn't her fault, that everything I was going through was beyond the comprehension of her 5 year old brain, but I felt rooted to my chair, bonded in invisible chains of misery, indecision, and all life's disappointments, they were chains I knew well, chains that had been weighing me down for years, I couldn't seem to escape them. A soft cry sounded in the distance of my apartment, sobering me up and bringing me out of my melancholic haze. I was feeling miserable, but even more constant than misery and disappointment was a mother's instinct, it was much sharper and keen, and right now mines was buzzing with alertness, something was definitely wrong. I wasted no time in springing to action; it seemed as if I reached the room in two brief strides.

The sight that greeted me nearly made me cry out, Reagan was sitting curled into a fetal position on the royal blue carpet bawling her eyes out, her fist was stuffed inside her mouth as if trying to stifle the noise her cries would cause. I immediately dropped to my knees scooping her inside my arms, her skin scalding to the touch. She was burning up with fever again, "Oh god what's wrong?" I murmured into her hair the tears forming into my eyes and threatening to fall at any second. When Reagan didn't respond, I lost it. Whereas I had been teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown before, I was now plunging headfirst into one, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, couldn't see. "Reagan baby please talk to me, tell me what's wrong?"I begged and pleaded, shaking her wildly.

"Reagan, Reagan" I called her name over and over again but she kept sobbing not saying anything and her skin, it was hot.

So hot.

"WHY?" I screamed to no one in particular, why was this happening to me? I kept squeezing and shaking Reagan screaming my question, "Baby please just talk to me" I begged, I knew I should get up, that I should go call 911 but I couldn't, I was afraid that if I let her go she'd be lost to me forever, and her eerie silence made it that much worst, I kept shaking her just trying to get at least a sound out of her. Before I knew what was happening strong arms were pulling me away from my child and my worst fears were coming true, I was losing her.

"STOP!" I Screamed flailing my arms wildly trying to fight off the strong pair of arms that had taken my child from me, "Ma'am calm down" The stern voice instructed but I didn't 

listen I just kept right on fighting them, suddenly a black club was raising over me and then next thing I know my whole world went black.

-

When I awoke everything on me hurt, my head throbbed, my body was sore, even my throat was scratchy, I tried to piece together everything that had happened by the images came in serial vague flashes , the last I remember was trying to fight off a strong pair of hands, Reagan. Where was Reagan? I jolted upward, causing a massive amount of pain to streak through my body as I looked around what appeared to be a hospital room.

Fortunately just as I was trying to figure everything out a elderly black nurse floated inside the room a smile pasted over her features, "You're lucky that was quite a bump you had on your head, what were you thinking trying to fight the police girl?" The nurse chuckled, My brows furrowed together and met at the center of my forehead as I tried to connect with what she was saying.

"Fight the police, what are you talking about?"

"They brought you in, said something about you going crazy, and being all hysterical, yeah they said you tried to attack one of the officers "The nurse explained, suddenly the strong pair of hands made sense, it had been the police officer! But why had they been there in the first place?

"Are they here?" I asked tentatively.

"Of course they still have to take you in and bring you up on your charges.

It was then the situation became clear, I was going to be put in jail. "Where is my daughter?"I demanded.

"Who?" The nurse asked looking genuinely confused.

"The little girl they found me with!"

"Blonde hair, blue eyes, about five years old?" The nurse queried, I shook my head.

"Social services came and took her about an hour ago".

--

A few hours later after the hospital ran a couple of tests I was dispatched and immediately driven down to the police station, I kept asking questions about Reagan but my inquiry was met with stony silence. Finally I was informed that the reason I had been arrested because I had attempted to kill my child, and not only that but I had tried to fight an officer back, and resisted arrest all in which were serious charges.

I went through all the necessary functions of having my headshot took and everything before I was guided to a small cell where at least 15 other women lounged, all of which were rough looking. The only place to sit was a steel looking cold bench and it was currently preoccupied by gruff looking women, my legs were tired and weak but I would just have to stand.

I was allowed one phone call, and the first person I could think of was Rachel. When I told her I was in prison she flipped, "Sit tight I'm on my way "She said reassuringly, I gave a side glance to the women in the cell "Hurry" I pleaded before having up. I was forced to sit in hell about another hour before I made bail, the moment I was given my things and saw Rachel's worried face I immediately felt a brief flicker of release, I would still have to go to court ,and pan things over with my child but for this moment I was content.

I threw my arms around her hugging her , she felt so warm and accepting , the realization that I had someone who loved me was too much to bear, before I knew it I was doing what seemed to be my favorite thing, crying. "They took her" I sniffed through my tears.

"Don't worry we'll get her back" Rachel said fiercely before squeezing me tightly and I prayed that she was right. Her presence was really comforting I thought to myself as we headed out into the parking lot. Instead of driving to my place, she rode me directly to hers.

"You don't need to be there tonight" was all she offered , and I accepted , I didn't I couldn't afford to have another breakdown it had after all cost me my child, I tried not to think of Reagan too much, of where she was, was she comfortable? Her smile, her eyes, I tried to block it all out because for one second I didn't want to feel the pain.

That night I walked in Rachel's house in a zombie like state, I didn't even feel Rachel ushering me to a bedroom, didn't feel her help me change into a oversized comfortable shirt of Mouth's, didn't realize that she was tucking me into the bed, didn't realize anything until the light had went off and I was greeted with my worst enemy, darkness. I was so terrified of it, because in the space of darkness was where all my fears came out, all my failures, and tonight I didn't need that reminder.

"Rach" I called out to her.

"What is it Brooke?" She answered immediately.

"Leave the light on" I requested, a simple nod was all she gave before flicking the light on and disappearing back out into the house, I brought the covers up around me and drifted into a frenzied restless sleep.

The next morning I awoke to the slamming of doors, the aroma of breakfast permeated the air, and for a brief second I pretended that this was my home, these were my sounds, and that Reagan was here, but a pretense could only get you so far, because sooner or later it dissipated and you were once again faced with the cold hard truth and reality. Not wanting to pretend anymore I threw the blankets off me and padded down the hallway until I reached the kitchen, Rachel, Mouth and their adorable son sat at the breakfast table all eating and chattering away. It was like a scene from a movie, also very private and I felt as though I was intruding.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to impose" I said quickly turning to leave.

"No imposition here, come have breakfast with us "Mouth chirped happily, I glanced at him with distrusting eyes, on the surface he looked welcoming and happy, but beneath the façade I knew their lurked a judgmental person, Mouth and I had been friends but he had always been opinionated and I knew he had an opinion about my whole situation. Not wanting to appear a grouch I unenthusiastically obliged, I didn't really want to sit here with them, because each moment was like a agonizing reminder of the child I now didn't have, the man I didn't have, and the life I should've had. I took a deep breath telling myself to just relax, lately I had been so angry at everyone else for their success, but why should they have to apologize for it? It wasn't their fault that I had been dealt the cards I had. And in that instant like an epiphany I realized how stupidly I had been behaving, I had been this mad miserable bitch, angry at all my friends, and just an emotional train wreck. I had to pull it together not just for my own peace of mind, but my child, weakness was not an option and right now my child needed me to be strong, so I would be.

"He's beautiful" I gushed pointing my head at their child; he cupped a hand over his mouth bashfully before smiling, two dimples appearing in his cheeks. He certainly hadn't got his looks from Mouth. No offense but we all knew Mouth was in no way shape of form handsome, but hey he was a nice guy and that's all that mattered. I uninterestedly ate a bowl of Frosted Flakes as I listened to Rachel recount a story about something that had happened at work, and tried not to remind myself of how unemployed I was.

I laughed at the funny parts, tightened my mouth in disapproval at the serious parts, did everything I was supposed to be but in truth I wasn't feeling anything Rachel was saying, all I could feel was the deep depression of not having my child and I doubted that a genuine smile would grace my face, not until she came back.

After breakfast Rachel and I headed to the social service offices so that I could find out what was going on. Reagan's case worker informed me that I wouldn't be able to see her until the court date was over with and the judge had deliberated, "You have to understand Ms.Davis we're only doing what's in the best interest of the child".

I wanted to tell her that was bullshit but there was no use in making a scene, not when my duties as a mother were at stake. "What you have to understand is that your landlord, the one who filed the complaint is making some serious accusations towards your parenting skills, we're talking physical abuse here, and the judicial system takes that very seriously 

not to mention you were practically strangling the child when the police found you, all these things will factor into the judges decision" She explained.

"It's a lie, all of it, I love Reagan I'd never hurt my child "I protested angrily.

"Well that may be true, but we can't possibly allow you to see her until everything is sorted out, we're only trying to protect her"

"From her mother! YOU CAN'T protect her you don't even know what she needs" I countered tears falling down my cheeks.

"Yes well apparently neither do you Ms.Davis" She flung back, but instead of continuing I allowed my shoulders to sag in defeat.

"I'm sorry I was totally out of line, I've just been really stressed lately, I'll do anything just tell me what I have to do to get my child back".

"Get you a damn good lawyer" She flashed me a genuine smile, I nodded my head before getting up to leave. I walked back out into the hallway to find Rachel waiting. "She said I should get a good lawyer" I told her before she even asked, I knew she was going to though.

"So what are you going to do?" Rachel inquired, I shrugged my shoulders.

"Where am I going to get the money to get a lawyer?" I responded.

A heavy silence settled over us as we walked to the parking lot and got into the car, Rachel revved up the engine turning to me with a hesitant look.

"You know, you could just ask him" She suggested, maneuvering out of the parking lot and down the street.

"No way had I replied bitterly. The "HIM" meaning Lucas, when Lucas wasn't strumming on his guitar he was being a fulltime lawyer. He had gone to Law School, passed the bar, and worked independently out of his own office that he owned. He hadn't taken on many cases but all the ones he had took, he had won, he was an excellent lawyer and if ever he gave up music and took up with some of the bigwigs of law he would've grandstanded any and every lawyer, he was just that damn good.

"Brooke Reagan is gone, fuck pride, do what you have to do to get her back" Rachel said, and for once I didn't dispute someone's advice, I simply listened.

I would have to go to Lucas, but if it meant getting my child back, our child, then so be it.


	6. Sorry

Chapter 6

Sorry

I stood before the large door, my heart in my throat. Sighing deeply, I glanced back at the yellow cab that had carried me here as it descended slowly down the street. Suddenly I wanted it to take me with it, but it'd have to be for free because I had spent my last bucks on the ride here.

Why had I come here?

What had possessed me to think that Lucas would help me, the last time I'd shown up here I had been kicked out, what was to stop him from doing the same thing all over again. It was obvious that the pain of our breakup was still fresh for Lucas, or maybe he just really didn't care. The thought of him not caring was worse than the prospect of him holding onto some long ago grudge. A strong gust of wind blew, causing the icy October air to bite through the flimsy material of my jacket. Hugging my arms around my mid-section, my teeth chattered as I decided to just go on ahead and ring the thing, after all what was the worst that could happen?

I pressed my numb fingers to the bell and rung, as I rehearsed the words I would say. I had repetitiously ran the words over and over in my head, until I had them memorized yet when Lucas actually answered the door, all logical thought was erased from my brain, like chalk on a blackboard.

I nearly salivated at how gorgeous he looked; His blonde hair was tousled carelessly, giving him this easy-going look (although I knew better) the blue ocean of his eyes were glazed as if he'd just been sleeping, his face held no outward signs of a beard, but he did have the shadow of one which had always in my opinion been sexier than a beard, or a smooth face. He wasn't wearing a shirt, which disposed of his brawny chest, grandstanding the muscled Pecs of his chest and torso, his arms were corded , his muscle s flexing as he raised up a fist to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

"I hope you're not one of those damn Jehovah witnesses" He muttered crassly while still wiping away the sleep crust in his half-mast eyes.

I didn't speak immediately, I don't know if it was the fact that I was stunned silent, or fear that gripped my vocal cords in its grasp, whatever it was It had hit me hard and I couldn't even form a logical thought.

"What the fuck" Lucas sneered as he realized who I was.

"Lucas please just listen-

"I thought I explained it Brooke, I'm not interested in listening to anything you have to say"

"I know but that was before, and now I need your help" I pleaded my voice taking on a tone of desperation.

Lucas laughed sardonically "I'm afraid that's not my problem, now get the fuck off my property" He snarled turning to close the door in my face, I didn't know what to do I very couldn't attack him like I'd done last time, so I did the only thing I could think of.

"Lucas wait!"

"Bye Brooke"

"LUCAS PLEASE, WE HAVE A CHILD!" I screamed, once the words were out of my mouth I immediately wanted to shovel them back in. I watched for Lucas's surprise but his back was turned to me, his back stiff and rigid with anger.

"You're lying" He said quietly and coldly, as he turned to me his eyes cold flints.

The hatred in his eyes was too much and caused me to tear up "I'm afraid not, she's five and her name is Reagan like the president" I added to make him smile, but the grim line of his mouth only tightened at my wise crack.

He stared not saying anything, looking at me as if I were alien, and some type of stranger. "Luke I wanted to tell you "I whispered stepping closer.

He turned away from me slightly burying his face in his hands, still not saying a word. His body was slightly trembling, a soft sound escaped his lips, and it was then I realized that he was crying! He was actually crying.

"Luke I'm so sorry" I croaked.

"Don't" He cut me off shrilly pointing a stiff finger at me as he met my gaze, his eyes watered with tears, his cheeks stained by them, I'd never seen Lucas cry and the sight of it made me want to cry.

"I-

"Shut the fuck up! Don't you dare apologize, nothing you can say will make this any better" He said bitterly.

"You have to understand Luke, I was a child, I was afraid and-

"And so you just ran off carrying my child, as if It wasn't bad enough you left me, you left with my child! "

"It was either that or my parents would put you in jail! I was only trying to protect you, I couldn't live knowing I'd put you in the one place you didn't want to go back to! I loved you Lucas, I still do" I said softly.

He laughed stepping close in my face to the point I thought he would jerk back and hit me. "Love" He stressed the word with a sneer. "You don't know the first thing about love, you're acidic Brooke, and you burn everything in your path even your own parents hate you" He scoffed.

His statement struck a raw nerve, causing me to nearly buckle over with the pain of his words, He knew how sensitive I was about my parents, and the fact that he had deliberately hurt me was more than I could bear, the tears begin to fall.

"I never meant to hurt you. I only did it to protect you, if you would've gone to jail I couldn't have lived with myself" My lips quivered as the tears flowed down my cheeks.

Lucas pressed his forehead against mine "And I couldn't live without you" He whispered, his warm sweet smelling breath fanning against my face and causing a series of tingles to pass through my body. I brought a hand up to cup his cheek, as if my hand were indeed acid, he jerked away from quickly as if to say my touch had burned him or had the power to do so.

"You still care" I said softly, upon my revelation of his feelings, if he hadn't he wouldn't have allowed me to get that close, not even for a second.

"Don't kid yourself; I hate you, what type of monster would keep a child from her father?" He snarled.

"The kind that didn't want to hurt you, I did it for your own good"

"Don't you spring that crap on me! How was it good for me to NOT know I had a child, geez Brooke I could've helped you" He said his eyes roving over my tattered rags I was wearing.

I jutted my chin out proudly" I didn't need your help, It was either leave or my parents were going to make me get an abortion and throw you in jail, my only option was to run away, you don't have to like me but you have to understand it wasn't an easy choice to make, I was just a child, and I was terrified".

"So then why didn't you tell me after you had reached New York, why wait until nearly 6 years later?" He demanded grabbing my chin in his hand and causing me to look him in the eye.

My chin quivered in fear "Because I'd heard about your deal, and I didn't want to get in the way of your success, a child would've only complicated things, plus I'd heard that you were seeing Peyton"

He muffed my face away roughly "You lying spiteful bitch, you did it because you were jealous!"He accused me with a murderous look in his eyes.

"Of course I was jealous! I hadn't even been gone a year and already you were FUCKING my best friend, as if it wasn't enough that you had cheated on me with her before"

"So my being with Peyton was grounds for you to keep a whole life from me Brooke?"

"NO! But I was hurt, and pissed, and afraid, I didn't not tell you because of Peyton, I was scared, scared that I would see that look in your eyes you have now, like I'm some type of monster"

"You are a monster, I don't even know who you are anymore" He lambasted his eyes cutting me down where I stood, until I felt small enough to be seen underneath a microscope.

"It's Me Brooke, the girl you fell in love with "I said with a wobbly smile that I didn't really feel.

"No you're the bitch that broke my heart" He countered.

"Let me fix it" I said quietly stepping into him causing him to walk backwards in an attempt to touch escape my closeness. I backed him against the door and slipped my arms around his waist, pressing my face against his chest and he let me stay like that for a while, I could hear his heart beating rapidly.

"No way, I hate you"

"I love you"

"And I love Peyton"

"Then why are you letting me hold you?" I asked, causing him to push me away roughly.

"You can't just walk back into my life Brooke, I've done just fine without you like I'm going to continue to do"

"But what about our child Luke, are you just going to turn your back on it?" I queried surprised by the coldness he was displaying.

"You mean the way you turned your back on me?"He laughed sarcastically.

"I told you already, I'm sorry, you can't turn your back on me"

"Sure I can, just watch" He said turning his back to walk back into the warmth of his house.

"Luke, wait, no! She's dying and she's with Social Services, I don't have much longer I might be going to jail "I explained.

Before I knew what was happening I felt his strong hands around my neck choking the life out of me.

"You bitch" He cried, the tears pouring down his cheeks.

"Luke please "I tried to say but my words came out strained as I felt the life in me slipping away.

"LUKE! STOP"A woman's voice screamed, tiny dots dancing before my eyes.

Suddenly the hands were lifted, and I was faced with a concerned Karen "Brooke are you all right?" She asked her hands fluttering around my neck and face.

Lucas sunk to the floor crying soundly "S-She's a monster" He hiccupped, crying harder than I'd ever seen any man cry. "Why? I loved you Brooke" He said quietly.

"What is going on here?"Karen demanded looking back and forth between the both of us.

"I have a child mom, she's dying, and Brooke kept it from me" Lucas said agonized.

Karen's eyes widened at his words as she turned to me "Come on lets you inside and make sure you're all right, Lucas Scott get off that ground , stop crying, and get inside this house" She said sternly.

Lucas unfolded his frame and moved to get up, as we all walked into the house.

"Now we're going to sit down like adults and discuss this, but first Luke I want you to apologize to Brooke I did NOT raise you like that"

"No way am I apologizing to that BITCH" He sneered.

"Fuck you" I hurled hurt that he had put his hands on me, Lucas had never hurt me and the fact that he had was nearly killing me.

"STOP IT!"Karen shrieked "There's a child involved for Christ's sake , it's not about the two of you, its' about that child" She rationalized which caused me to calm down and reminded me of my original purpose in coming here.

"I'm sorry "I said softly.

Lucas on the other hand was lock jawed he refused to apologize as he stared at me in silent mutiny. "Now tell me about the child" Karen asked calmly.

"She's five, her name is Reagan, and I had her when I ran away, I would've told you but my parents threatened to make me abort it, and throw Lucas in jail, I was afraid Karen" I spoke honestly looking her into her eyes.

"Tell her the rest" Lucas sneered.

I sighed " A few weeks ago I got into some trouble back in New York and decided to come back, it was then I found that Reagan is very sick and could die any day if I don't get her the proper medicine, I was so stressed that I had a nervous breakdown the other day, She was running a fever and she was crying, she wouldn't talk, she wouldn't tell me what was wrong and I just lost it, I kept crying and begging her to talk to me, I even shook her a little , one of my neighbors called the police to report that I was beating my child, and when they burst in they found me shaking her, they said I was trying to kill her and fight the police as well so I was taken down to the station, Social services took Reagan, Rachel bailed me out, and now I have to find a lawyer to represent me , I was going to ask Lucas to help me or at least consent to taking full custody of her if I did go to jail" I explained.

"You've been through so much "Karen said softly.

I tried not to cry at the sympathy in her tone "I know I shouldn't have kept her from you, but I was so afraid, I was only trying to protect her"

"From her family" Lucas cut in disbelievingly.

"Yes"

"Liar, you're just jealous because Peyton and I are engaged-

"Lucas Scott what has gotten into you?" Karen asked her eyes bugged with surprise.

"I'm sorry Mom" He apologized contritely.

"NOW Lucas is going to represent you, and if he doesn't then we're going to pay for the best damn lawyer money can buy, and if Lucas doesn't want to take sole custody then I will, there's no way I'm letting my granddaughter stay in there, I've seen the way foster families treat those poor kids. I'm upset that you lied Brooke and kept this from us, but this isn't about you, it's about Reagan" Karen said.

"Thank you "I cried throwing my arms around her.

"Oh cut the mushy crap, and what happened to you?" She said stepping back.

"You look like shit" She stated bluntly causing me to laugh.

"Never one to mince words huh Miss Scott?" I giggled.

She leaned in to whisper in my ear "You'll never get him back looking like that, we've got to get you in shape so we can make that Peyton bitch disappear" She whispered before pulling back and guiding me off to the bathroom.

I turned to look at an angry Lucas before silently mouthing the words I'd always wanted to say "I'm sorry".

**Author's note**- Told you guys I'd be updating twice! , Anyways let me know how you feel about the story, I'm starting to think my writing skills have gone a little lax, so I definitely need that encouragement, also promise me not to hate Luke too badly, he's just hurt.


	7. Thats What Friends Are For

Thanks for the reviews their certainly starting to pick up just not as much as I'd like so again I add and hope they'll be more reviews next time. Thanks for my new readers, I freaking love you guys! Sorry for any mistypes I wrote so much I was too tired to re-read it. Also I tried to make this chapter a little more relaxed, funny, and dramatic as opposed to all that sad crap I'm always dishing out.

Chapter 7 –That's what friends are for

It was mid-afternoon when I finally returned back to Rachel's house, the moment I stepped foot into the small foyer of her house she immediately began firing questions at me like missiles. Laughing at her snooping I sat down and explained everything that had happened in between mid-sentence of Lucas choking me she immediately got up and walked over to her linen closet. "Rach what are you doing don't you want to hear the rest of the story?"I laughed at her abruptly getting up. "Where is it, I know I had it in here somewhere" She mumbled absently to herself. "Are you going to let me finish telling the story or what" I grumbled impatiently.

"Oh sure you can finish telling me, right after I kill him, AHA"She said triumphantly holding a large shot gun and eyeing it happily as if it were her salvation. It suddenly dawned on me what she meant to do with that weapon I was off my feet in a matter of seconds and trying to yank it out of her grasp "Now just a minute my little trigger happy red head friend, why don't you give me that" I placated.

The look in her eyes was murderous, comical, and unrecognizable I would've hated to be Lucas had she found him at the moment. "Back off BROOKE" She yanked the rifle back which started off a very volatile tug of war game between the two of us, ten minutes later that was exactly how Mouth and Sammy found us.

We were so engrossed in our struggle we didn't notice them until Mouth loudly cleared his throat, horrified the two of us immediately allowed our gaze to fly to the both of them. Instantaneously we both jumped back from the rifle letting it fall to the floor as if we hadn't been holding onto it for our dear life just seconds earlier. "SHE DID IT" Rachel and I both yelled in unison pointing at each other, we immediately both started talking all at once trying to overshadow one another in attempts to tell our side of the story. "Daddy why was Mommy Rachel and Auntie Brooke trying to kill each other" Sammy questioned directing his big green eyes up at Mouth "Because they had a disagreement "Mouth explained while Rachel and I stood frozen silent ashamed of our actions , while I was secretly amused and it was taking everything in me not to burst out laughing.

"What's a disafeement?" Sammy persisted.

"Something that women often have because their way too catty for their own good" Mouth further explained causing Rachel and I to both huff at his scatterbrained excuse making him the new target and enemy.

"Women "Sammy huffed tiredly shaking his head disapprovingly like a old man rather than a 3 year old before walking off to do something less complicated like dig in the dirt, humph men!.

The moment Sammy disappeared we all began laughing hysterically, Rachel and I were laughing so hard tears came to our eyes as we fell all over one another, Mouth still looked confused. "Humph Women!" He said causing us to laugh even harder, and for that brief second everything in my life was tranquil and all right, I hadn't laughed in so long.

My bubble of nirvana continued all throughout the afternoon right up until I noticed Rachel carefully laying out a beautiful taupe colored dress. "What's the occasion red, hot guy" I winked suggestively, and for a moment I almost sounded like my old teenaged self, which was thrilling. "No Brooke its Nathan and Haley's engagement party remember?" Rachel rolled her eyes at my denseness.

"That's tonight" I smacked my forehead for having forgot "Yep and as one of the bridesmaids you're morally obligated to attend" Rachel smiled slyly. "No way, besides I don't have anything to wear" I shot back quickly thankful for being able to rely on that excuse like a disabled relies on a crutch. "Duh you're a fucking whale, you can wear one of my maternity dresses" Rachel chirped.

"Gee thanks you give me such confidence" I intoned sarcastically.

"You welc, hopefully my constant reminder of your excessive weight will motivate you to lose it, besides you're never going to win Lucas back looking like that "She frowned nodding towards my gut that hung out over her black tank top she had allowed me to borrow, I still hadn't got around to going to pick up my things.

"Why does everyone keep saying that? I don't want to win Lucas back I just want to forget about him and move on with my life" That was a lie that even I couldn't force myself to believe and Rachel knew as much which is why she shot me a skeptical high doubting look.

"Come on Brooke this is me, I held you while you cried over this guy like what a gazillion times? You'll never be able to get over Lucas; he's your one true love."

"Nope he's Peyton's one true love" I countered sourly.

"Oh please what man on earth would take that self-deprecating whiny bitch serious? She's too needy and dependent, she's just a rebound, she always has been" Rachel reasoned.

"No she's Lucas with boobs, they understand each other, they both brood together, and remember I just the cheery brainless slut of a cheerleader"

"No you're not!" Rachel screamed "Don't you ever put yourself down like that, you're amazing Brooke, you're smart, you're kind, you befriended me when no else would, you've always been wonderful and you were a terrific friend to Peyton she just didn't know how to be one to you, not to mention you'd do anything for anyone you were the only girl in our school who really gave a damn about Mouth's feelings when everyone else would talk about him, name one selfless thing Peyton has ever done? It's always about her and how she can benefit from whatever situation, Lucas is an idiot, I can guarantee you Peyton wouldn't be there if it weren't for that record deal" Rachel professed causing the ice around my heart to thaw a little.

"You mean that?" I asked with tears in my eyes.

"You bet your ass I do, now come on and let's find something for you to wear so we can upstage those bitches" Rachel pulled me up by my arm. I tried to hide the single tear that had rolled down my cheek but decided against it , after all this tear wasn't out of sadness , for the first time in a long time it was out of happiness.

Rachel managed to find me an incredible simple black dressed that hugged my curves in all the right ways and covered my fat just right, I was in love with the dress and had already decided Rachel wouldn't be getting it back. "Ok this dress is officially property of B.Davis" I teased.

"Whatever it's not like you'll be needing it when I'm done with you "Rachel called out from the bathroom, she was running the curling irons through her hair. "Meaning? "I laughed turning in her full length mirror to critically assess myself once more, I passed the test, and I looked amazing.

"Meaning we're going to get that lard ass of yours in shape, the Brooke Davis I knew would never allow herself to get that way , allow me to reintroduce you to her"

"Rach I'm not that girl anymore, I've grown up and now I don't fuss over my appearance all that matters is the welfare of Reagan" I explained tiredly, why couldn't people understand that my visage was no longer a worry of mine, I had spent so many years concerning myself with the latest make up and trends that I had been lacking the only real thing that counts, character. And now that I had obtained it I wasn't about to lose it over something as menial and irrelevant as looks, all that mattered was my child and as a parent you must make a sacrifice at some point, mines was my beauty and vanity.

"Brooke who says you can't be a great mom and be gorgeous all at the same time, look at me" Rachel said smugly.

"Yeah well you've got someone to help you, you haven't had to sacrifice nearly as much as I have" I replied somewhat bitterly.

"Look Brooke lets not do that tonight"

"Do what"

"That thing where you constantly put yourself down, where you constantly blame everyone else for what you did or didn't get, don't worry about any of that let go of the bitterness for just one night and concentrate on having a good time" Rachel pleaded softly. My first reaction was to get offended but I sighed and told myself to breath before reacting, once I had weighed her words I decided Rachel was right, I had been far too bitter for far too long.

"I'm sorry, I'm stuck in this role of the woman scorned, I don't know how not to be her, can you help me? I don't want to be this way Rachel "I confessed tears forming before I knew it I was crying softly and Rachel was hugging me.

"I love you B.Davis and I'm going to help you pull through this, I'll always be here, I always have" She whispered comfortingly and I believed her.

"Ok now let's stop all this before I mess up my make-up, speaking of make-up let me do your face "Rachel offered I automatically declined.

"No I haven't worn make up in years"

"All the more reason for you to let me put it on, come on please"

"No

"Brooke"

"Ok fine! "

"If you don't like it I promise you can wash it off "She comprised. I kept thinking I wasn't going to like it, my lips were pursed in petulance but Rachel cheerfully ignored my dour disposition, I could've cheerfully_ killed _her. Some minutes later she put on the final touches of my eye shadow and then took a step back to admire her handiwork she gave me an unbelieving look as she scrutinized my features "You hate it" I assumed my hands subconsciously flying to my face.

"No I'm at a loss for words, Brooke you look gorgeous" She gushed.

I ultimately sprung out of my chair and ran to the mirror in the bathroom, what I saw was unbelievable and scary all at the same time. The girl who peered back at me in Rachel's mirror had to be a stranger she was so beautiful, She had laughing eyes, their color accentuated by the crafty eye shadow job Rachel had done. Her lips were succulent, rosy, inviting and teasing all at the same time; she had a smiling mouth that was sure to drive men crazy with lust. Gone was her dull brown hair that begged for shampooing and oil, in its stead were loose bouncy curls that waved up at the end and floated illustriously down her back, it shone like new,. Her nose was pert, her complexion was peaches and cream, she was in summary breathtakingly beautiful, but more disconcerting she was me.

"Oh my god" I cried happily loving my reflection.

"Are you guys' read?-"Mouth interrupted before he stopped off in mid-sentence as he drank in my appearance "Wow" was all he could say.

Rachel and I both exchanged a knowing look "Men" We said repeating Mouth's earlier words as we laughed together.

"Brooke you look amazing" Mouth finally said.

"Thanks and so do you "I gave him a small peck on the cheek.

"Cheating on me already?"Rachel joked feigning a pout which caused all three of us to laugh.

"Ok enough small talk we've got to hurry up or we'll be late" Rachel said.

The three us of ambled down the stairs and past the teenage baby sitter who was chatting animatedly on the phone and barely paying attention to Sammy. "Hey make sure you watch him" I warned her sharply my paternal instinct kicking in, she nodded her head and dismissed me the second I was out of view.

Once inside the car , we listened to some old tunes that we had grew up to and sung along sounding as off-key as ever, we didn't care, we just laughed and enjoyed ourselves.

I was still singing when Rachel elbowed me discreetly, her way of trying to get my attention.

"What is it?" I asked somewhat upset she'd interrupted my concert.

"I think I should mention that this isn't just Haley and Nathan's engagement party, its Lucas and Peyton's party as well" Rachel admitted uneasily.

"What!" I roared flipping out , how could she not tell me that my ex and his new fiancé who happened to be my ex best friend were having an engagement party, my ex who I might mention tried to kill me just earlier today to say I was pissed would've been an understatement, I was furious.

"Rachel!"

"I know Brooke, but I just wanted you to show up looking great, besides you're going to have to face them sooner or later, he _**is**_the father of your child"

"Yeah a fact he conveniently chooses to forget"

"Probably because you conveniently chose to not tell him for so long" Rachel shot back causing me to glare at her for a few seconds.

"Whose side are you anyway mine or his?"

"Yours of course but you know I don't agree with what you did "Rachel said pointedly

"Peyton's going to look fantastic "I gave a miserable sigh, Rachel rubbed my shoulder soothingly.

"That stick figure will turn to dust next to you "Rachel assured me, I leaned my head on her shoulder and dreaded our arrival.

We arrived at the Hilton Hotel just a few minutes later which was too quick for my liking, for a brief second I flirted with the idea of driving back home but I instantly decided that Rachel was not letting me go back so it would be useless to even try.

The valet took our car and as the wheels rolled off all hopes of escaping rolled away with them. Sighing I caught up with Rachel and Mouth who seemed to be meandering through the hotel in search of the ballroom. We aimlessly searched the halls for a second before concluding that we were not going to find the place without any direction, we walked back to the front desk and asked for some direction.

I was checking my lip gloss and reapplying some more when I caught sight of something familiar in my little compact mirror. I couldn't see his face, but I saw the color of his hair and his side profile. My heart jumped in my throat as I stood rooted to my spot frozen with fear, it was Mark, Mark was here in Tree Hill and he had come to kill me.

I turned around immediately in search of him but was dismayed to find that as quick as the man had appeared he had vanished into thin air, was I hallucinating? I was so absorbed in my thoughts I didn't feel Rachel tapping me.

"Brooke" She said shrilly her voice cutting through my mist of terror. "Huh" I replied dumbly.

"Come on lets go its on the fifth floor we were going to the wrong floor someone must've messed up the information on the invitation I bet it was that dumb bitch Peyton" Rachel said causing me to laugh and forget all about my fears.

When we finally made it to the right ballroom the party was in full effect, Waiters were walking around serving champagne and alcohol, men lounged at the bar, women and men flitted around the food tables sampling and filling up their plates, on the dance floor a few couples laughed and danced.

I milled through the crowd enjoying the aura of the party when a loud shriek caught me off guard "Brooke!" the voice yelled I turned to see my old friend Bevin running towards me excitedly.

She immediately threw her slender arms around my neck and hugged me tightly "You look amazing" She gushed and pulled back in time for me to see her rounding protruding and very pregnant belly.

"Look at you, you're pregnant "I mused rubbing her stomach.

"Yeah Skills and I are expecting her any day now" She glowed with happiness, her glee was infectious and I couldn't help but smile as well.

"That's great I always knew the two of you would end up getting married" I said knowingly smiling at her genuinely.

"Yeah he's my everything, but hey I heard you had a little girl too" Bevin said conversationally.

"Yeah she's five and-"I started to say but Bevin's gasp cut me off.

"Five? Is she-? "She questioned lifting her brows.

"Yeah" I gave a grim sigh; there was no point in hiding the truth.

"I'll kill that bastard" She scoffed murderously marching off in search of him, I quickly grabbed her elbow "Please Bevin it's not what you think" I tried to explain.

"So then he doesn't know?" Bevin asked hopefully, I suppose she didn't want to have to slaughter Lucas after all she'd always been the peacemaker of our group.

"No he knows" I admitted.

"Well then move it, I'm going to kill that son of a bitch" She started to March off well waddle is more like it.

"Bev I appreciate it but this is my situation let me handle it ok" I requested softly she sighed as her shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Ok but he's still an asshole"

"No he's not, I'm the one who kept it from him he just found out today" I explained.

"And what did he say?"

"He's not claiming her; he doesn't think the child is his"

"What? Everyone knows you were crazy about him you would've never cheated"

"I know but his logic is why would I keep something from him for so long if it were his?"

"Why would you" Bevin wanted to know.

"Well because I was afraid and my parents were threatening to make me have an abortion so I ran away, afterwards I wanted to tell him but I just lost my nerve"

"What made you tell him today?"

"It's a long story Bev but I'll tell you some other time"

"You better" Bevin threatened causing me to laugh a little, she was still the same old Bevin, peaceful yet militant.

Before we could say anything else a bell was being chimed "What's that?" I asked Bevin turning to find the culprit of the sound.

"Its time for dinner, come on "She grabbed my hand and led me to the table. Although the seating had been prearranged everyone just sort of sat wherever they could.

I end up sitting in between Rachel and Bevin, with Haley right next to Bevin and the chair next to Haley was empty, across from me sat Mouth, Nathan, Skills and an empty seat directly across Haley's empty chair , I assumed that's where Lucas and Peyton would sit.

"It is my greatest honor to introduce to you, the first soon to be married couple, two people we all love and know, Lucas and Peyton "Nathan announced while standing up. Everyone began clapping as Lucas and Peyton walked out from behind some ridiculous looking screen, I rolled my eyes at how cheesy their antics had been, my amusement was short-lived as I took in the sight of them both.

Lucas was garbed in all black with the exception of his white lawn shirt, he looked amazing and more handsome than I could remember, and for a second I couldn't breathe and was sure I would need some mouth to mouth resuscitation, hopefully from Lucas. Not to be outdone Peyton was equally stunning in a slinky black dress that dipped low in the back and in the front, revealing her incredible figure, her hair was done up elegantly in a neat coiffure, with two loose curls falling purposefully down around her face, and she wore the lightest make-up making me feel like a fat, overstuffed, made-up pig.

I swallowed the bitter pill of jealously and tried to dispel of the large lump that rested in my throat, but it was nearly choking me with its intensity and at any moment the tears would fall. "Fuck her" Rachel whispered in my ear and squeezed my hand as Lucas and Peyton sauntered towards the table greeting people on the way to their chairs.

Peyton was seated before she turned to speculatively look around the ball room, so unrecognizable was I that her eyes roved over me at first, I suppose on an afterthought her eyes bulged and returned to my face.

"Brooke" She sputtered.

"P. Sawyer" I rasped nodding my head in her direction to acknowledge her.

Her mouth was wide open as she studied me from head to toe "You look-" She started to say, but immediately schooled her features and her reaction "Fat" She sneered snidely causing someone to laugh, my cheeks burned in embarrassment.

"Oh don't be such a bitch she looks amazing "Rachel jumped in popping a strawberry in her mouth. Peyton sat stiff lipped, she didn't like verbally going back and forth with Rachel she knew it was the one argument she couldn't win.

"Well I suppose that depends on whether a man likes his meal, small, medium, or in Brooke's case over-large "She snickered.

Lucas cackled at her joke "Good one babe".

"Well at least Brooke was a meal as opposed to being a side-order, but then again I suppose some men prefer that over a real woman, by the way Peyton I barely recognized you being as that you spend so much time on your back" Rachel pointing a threatening fork in her direction.

"I will not stand for this! I am not going to be ridiculed at my own engagement party, Lucas have security remove them both right this instant" Peyton threw down a napkin and stood up defiantly her chest puffing in and out as she glared at Rachel and I.

"Now wait a minute there's no way you're throwing my wife out-

"_Mouth _is it or Mucus as we called you in high school, I was not addressing you nor do I make the habit of doing so often being as that you're beneath me, however I should warn you that this is MY party and if you don't like the way I _orchestrate_ it you can leave with them" She jabbed a finger in our direction.

"Peyton that's enough, calm down no one's leaving lets all just take a breather and finish eating" Her father warned her.

"Yeah because no one's kicking out guests that_ I_ invited, being as that I did help pay for this party besides their Nathan and Haley's guests, I doubt anyone came for you Peyton "Karen cut in sharply.

"Lucas are you just going to let her talk to me like that" Peyton pouted folding her arms and waiting for him to come to her rescue.

"Babe she's right, their Nathan and Haley's guest" He said dejectedly. Peyton glared around the table at everyone before sitting back down and poking her fork at the food on her plate.

"You'll be needing some of that sticks" Rachel snarled lowly, Peyton simply glowered at her.

"Looks like Brooke had too much of it"

"Okay enough with the fat jokes Peyton, Brooke's my friend" Bevin interjected angrily.

"That's just like fat people, to always come to each other's aid "Peyton smirked referring to Bevin's pregnancy.

"Oh no she didn't" Bevin said dropping her fork and staring straight ahead in shock.

"Oh yes she did" Rachel instigated with a sly smile.

"What are you going to do about it Porky?" Peyton continued maliciously, I guessed some one should've warned her that there are two things in life you don't mess with, a woman scorned, and a pregnant woman.

Before Peyton could finish her insulting the peacemaker Bevin was lunging across the table and choking the dear life out Peyton, we all began trying to pry her off but to no avail.

Finally Skills managed to release her grip on Peyton's scrawny neck "Baby you're pregnant" He reminded her.

Bevin straightened her hair and sat back down in her seat "Bitch" She muttered.

"You are a barbarian!" She accused Bevin.

"Oh Cut the shit Peyt no one is buying this better than thou act you're trying to sell" Nathan spat surprising us all.

"Hey don't talk to her like that" Lucas fired back at Nathan.

"She's ruining our party, and I'm so sick and tired of her highhanded ways!" Nathan exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Skills cut in.

"I DON'T believe you guys, you're behaving outrageously" Peyton cried out.

"Don't worry babe their only doing it because that fat bitch has poisoned their mind against us" He snarled in my direction.

For the second time in one night Bevin threw herself across the table as she proceeded to choke Lucas, her attempt was a little less successful being as that Skills who was right next to him pried her off once again.

Lucas held his neck checking for any damage "Are you nuts?" He accused Bevin.

"Apologize to her!" Bevin demanded indignantly.

"Bevin please, I can take up for myself" I intervened standing up to calm her down, I was pleased that all my friends were getting so riled up on my behalf but this was after all Lucas and Peyton's day .

"Come on guys can't we all just get along" Haley who had been quiet the whole night finally spoke up.

"Yeah as soon as you all pull your head out your ass and put that fat bitch out" Lucas retorted, this time to everyone's surprise Haley was the one doing the lunging and choking as she tried to squeeze the dear life out of poor old Lucas.

"You ass" She chanted as she kept choking, Nathan pretended to ignore her for a few seconds smiling at what he felt Lucas deserved, finally he decided he didn't want her to kill his brother, and his meek mousy little wife looked livid enough to do just that, he supposed he should intercept , so finally he did.

"YOU ALL STOP IT RIGHT THIS INSTANT" The parents yelled simultaneously, we'd temporarily forgot their existence.

Instantly we listened to their authorative voices and sat back down in our chairs. "Now we are going to enjoy our dinner and by god we're going to do it like civilized normal human beings" Peyton's father said sternly.

A stilted silence followed being as that everyone was too embarrassed by their actions, after a while all the hostility was momentarily forgotten as a conversation was started, a subject I dreaded, marriage.

"So are you two excited?" Rachel asked Nathan, it was evident she wasn't referring to Lucas and Peyton because although we'd gotten over our little anger we were all pretty much ignoring them.

"I-"Haley began but then looked at Nathan "I mean we're ecstatic" She gushed causing me to frown, why did she keep doing that? She almost seemed afraid of Nathan.

"We can't wait to have the baby" Nathan jovially agreed.

"Speaking of babies I heard you had a little girl "Skills directed his question to me causing the table to drop into a tense silence.

Skills always the one to be quite "slow" when it came to things looked around in bewilderment "What did I say?" He asked.

"No it's ok, yeah I have a girl" I responded.

"Aw ok how old is she" He persisted, this time Nathan slapped him upside the head.

"Hey who did that" He mumbled angrily as if really looking for the culprit although Nathan was right next to him, see I told you Skills was a little "obtuse".

"She's five" I answered.

"Aw ok, who's the father" Skills queried, this time I almost slapped him.

Before I could utter an answer Bevin spoke up "Lucas is" She said snidely.

I turned to her with a shocked expression angry and hurt that she would tell my business before I could correct her Peyton was speaking up.

"What did she say?" Peyton shouted at Lucas.

"I-"He began stuttering.

"You what, Do you or do you not know what she's talking about?"Peyton's voice rose with each point.

Lucas's face paled as he hesitated to answer the question "Well?" Peyton demanded her hand on her bony ass hip.

"Yeah but-

"Oh my god I think I'm going to be sick "Peyton announced before fainting, immediately a group of people fluttered around her to revive her.

"Are you happy now? You've successfully ruined everything" Lucas accused glaring angry eyes at me.

"I didn't even do anything! Bevin told her" I defended myself while shooting Bevin an annoyed look.

"There's nothing to tell, You're just some fat piggish bitch who I used to date in high school, we both know that child isn't mine, I don't know who it belongs to ,hell you opened your legs up so much back then it could be Nate's for all we know, but I know one thing is for sure she isn't mine, no way no how , so you can just stop trying to foist her off on me in a desperate attempt to get some money because you so obviously need it" He sneered. This time, Haley, Rachel, Bevin, Karen, and I all jumped on Lucas in an attempt to beat and choke him.

Rachel was pulling tufts of his blonde hair, Bevin was hitting him in the chest, Haley had his neck, Karen was slapping him in the face, and I was trying to hit him everywhere, it took nearly all of the men in the party to get us off of him.

"Ok its official you've all gone crazy" Lucas muttered angrily.

"No YOU have lost all manners and respect, she is a WOMAN and I did not raise you to disrespect women like that" Karen retorted hotly.

"Why are you all coming down on me, is everyone conveniently forgetting the fact that even if Reagan were in fact my child, Brooke still kept it from me for nearly 6 years not to mention Reagan is sick possibly dying, and in foster care" Lucas shouted.

"What?" Bevin said looking confused and even Haley looked a bit puzzled.

They all turned to me for an explanation "I was scared I didn't know what else to do, I was only trying to protect my child" I explained to Bevin and Haley, instead of angrily walking away they stayed by my side accepting my reason.

"Brooke you still had no right to keep his child from him, I couldn't imagine how I'd feel if Bevin ever did me like that" Skills said.

"Yeah I mean that's wrong "Nathan conceded.

"Well Ok so she shouldn't have NOT told him but now that he knows he won't even acknowledge it" Rachel retorted.

"But how is he supposed to know if it's really his or not?" Mouth pondered aloud.

Rachel gasped and cut her eyes at him "I can't believe you've traveled over to the dark side, no you're not DEFENDING him"

"I'm not taking sides I'm just saying I could see where he'd be angry"

"Yeah Brooke is wrong" This from Nathan

"Really wrong "This from Skills.

This time we all ambushed the guys, as we engaged in a war of the sexes as well as opinions, well we were trying to beat the crap out of the guys while they were just trying to block our angry advances, even Peyton who had _**miraculously**_ recovered started pummeling Lucas.

It took for the security to throw us out for us to calm down and come back down to reality.

"Yall crazy as hell!" Skills exclaimed.

"Yeah come on we're going for pizza "Nathan pulled Skills in the direction of his car as all the men bonded together.

"You can't go for pizza because WE'RE going for Pizza "Rachel yelled.

"Watch us" Mouth shot back.

Once inside Haley's car we all began talking at the same time about how stupid and insensitive guys were, we were raking every last single one of them over the coals and laughing about how ridiculously we had acted.

"And Skills is so dumb!" Bevin exclaimed laughing so hard she was crying.

"Bev!" Karen shrieked through laughter.

"What? I'm serious, I remember one time we were going to the grocery store, and so you know how those doors just automatically open? Well anyways I was walking through the door when I noticed that Skills wasn't beside me, so I turned to see him walking into one of the stores big window, just walking and bumping into it and hitting his face, so at first I'm wondering what the hell is wrong with him, so he starts yelling that the doors are broke and that he's suing! HE THOUGHT THE WINDOW WAS A DOOR!" Bevin yelped as we all started laughing so hard we thought we would die of laughter, "Oh my god I just peed" Bevin cackled causing us to laugh so hard OUR stomach hurt.

By the time we finally made it to the restaurant the guys were there and ordering their pizza already, we silently trudged by them and sat at a table far away from there's.

"We're lucky we got here on time, this place is almost about to close "Karen said looking around at the empty tables, even the salt shakers, parmesan cheese, and pizza toppings were cleaned off the tables.

We quickly ordered one large pizza and one medium, while we continued talking. Our pizza's all arrived at the same time; I stared down at the steaming hot pizza nearly impatient with greed.

"Ok girls dig in" Karen exclaimed, we all began grabbing our slices and sunk our teeth into the delicious pizza instantly, the pepperoni was excellent.

I sprinkled a little parmesan on my pizza and proceeded to enjoy my meal, we were all eating ravenously when we looked up to see Skills.

"Can we help you?" Bevin sniffed.

"Um, we don't have any seasoning on our table, and well I was wondering if I could use some of ya'll salt and pepper" Skills asked.

"What's the magic word?" Bevin taunted.

Skills looked back at the table of guys who were frowning at him and then down at the salt as if making some big decision "Uh" He said uneasily , "Ah shit fuck it I'm hungry, Please and I apologize ladies" Skills replied , we moved to let him sit down and sprinkle his pizza with salt and pepper.

"Traitor" Lucas called out.

Everyone was eating and laughing when we looked up to see Nathan, he wanted to use the peppery, he apologized and joined us branding him another traitor in Lucas's eyes, one by one they all drifted to our table until our booth got to be really crowded but we didn't care we were laughing, and having a good time.

Lucas and Peyton sat alone in their booth talking to each other and gazing over at our table longingly. I was just about to go to the bathroom when I heard Lucas say "I hate her" His words nearly chilled me to the bone.

Earlier I had been insulted by his words but I was too amused by how my friends had been acting to really pay them any attention, but to hear him say the one thing I'd always wondered but never had the courage to ask was nearly my undoing. The tears nearly stung my eyes as I ran out the restaurant into the dank coldness of the night, I didn't really have a destination in mind I was just trying to get away, I heard my friends calling after me but chose to ignore them.

The mouth of a dark alley came into view and it didn't even occur to me that it could've been dangerous; I just wanted to get away from everyone.

Without a second thought I plunged myself into the dark alley, I stopped and leaned over putting my hands on my knees as I struggled to catch my breath. "BROOKE"I heard my friends crying out.

"Brooke" But this time my name was spoken in a whisper or more of a hiss should I say.

I turned around but was greeted by nothing but darkness, someone was there though I could feel there presence.

The alley was shrouded in tendrils of mist and nearly pitch black making it hard for me to see anything, I was wishing that they had fixed the street lights that normally shone down on it , and more importantly I was wishing I hadn't been so rash and ran here to begin with.

Suddenly without warning an arm was snaking out around my waist.

"We meet again" Mark whispered into the shell of my ear causing the hairs on the back of my neck to rise up and stand still.

"Oh my god" I cried out tears blurring my vision.

"God can't save you right now" He laughed sardonically.

"HELP" I tried to scream but it was muffled being as that his hand was clamped tightly over my mouth.

I bit his fingers violently causing him to double over in pain, I took his momentary distraction for granted and began running down the alley screaming my head off, and I was nearly at the end of the alley when suddenly something hit me upside the head causing my world to go black.

**Authors Note- (I.E) the women choking and beating the men is just a poor attempt at being funny, so don't think that they've actually gone crazy! Also remember to review!! And let me know whether you like the humor or not, bump it or dump it? I just got so tired of the melancholy in this story; it was so depressing it was almost boring. And I wont be able to update until the weekend I'm swamped with homework and tests but I'll try to give you guys something, it just might not be long !**


	8. Trying To Remember, Don't Wanna Forget

I'm contemplating placing this story on hiatus or deleting it, my interest is waning and it's not doing that good anyways, hopefully this new twist will bring back some excitement for me as well as you readers...

Chapter 8-

Trying to Remember, Don't Wanna Forget

_Where was I?_

Was my first conscious thought as I felt the dank coldness of what felt like concrete beneath me, my second was the sharp knifing pain that speared through my body. Groaning I fluttered my eyes open trying to adjust my heavy lids to the crude lighting that beamed down from a nearby streetlight. "Are you ok Brooke?" A pair of soft hands flitted around my face touching at various parts on my face and body. _Who was Brooke? And why was someone touching me on a dark street at night?_

My first reaction was to panic, I immediately galvanized into action slapping the hands away from me and fighting to get to my feet. The abrupt movement causing a throbbing pain In my head. "Shit" I hissed touching my fingers to throbbing spot at the back of my head and immediately snatching my fingers away when I felt a sticky wetness. I gasped as I stared at my blood red fingers, _my blood. _Whoever this person was questioning me and calling me by the strange name Brooke had to have done this to me. Not sparing the thought any more compunction I immediately began running for my dear life as the person gained on me calling me by the ridiculous name Brooke.

_Wait_

_What was my name?_

I searched the blank contours of my brain trying to pilfer an image of which I was, or anything before waking up in that strange alley but nothing surfaced. Gasping for breath I couldn't help but notice the sharp pain in my head and in my legs as I tried to maintain a fair speed but quickly began slowing down. "Brooke "A series of other voices chimed in with the person behind me, accelerating the fear inside my chest. Now the people had grown in numbers which increased the chance of me being caught and pulverized, tears spiked and stung at my eyelashes as I kept running on a blank mission.

A jutting cobblestone peeked out at me from the ground and before I could notice it I was tripping over it and being thrown headfirst into the concrete ground. My face scraped, my hands were abraded, and there was a large gaping hole in the stockings I was wearing as I searched the ground for the short 2 inch heels I had self-made into gym shoes upon my running. I had just located the mysterious missing shoe when someone's hand clamped down on my shoulder firmly "Brooke are you crazy, have you lost your mind?" The person demanded with wild eyes.

I gulped fearfully staring up into their brown eyes which reflected anger, irritation and strangely concern. "Please don't kill me" I begged the tears coming fast as I figured I could plead my case to the worried part of this person, they couldn't be completely inhuman if they looked concern now could they.

"Kill you?" They said incredulously as the other people approached "Have you lost your mind if I kill anyone it'll be him" The elderly woman scoffed pointing an accusatory finger at a boy with blonde hair and confused blue eyes. I blinked rapidly bewildered by her placating words "So you're not going to kill me" I said dumbly.

Her hands flew to my head checking for lumps, I winced and grimaced when she touched an absurdly large swelling towards the left corner of my forehead. "What's going on Karen is she all right?" A girl with brown hair and brown eyes but who looked younger asked clutching onto the arm of a man with black hair and blue eyes as if she were scared he was going to disappear, and she needed the support of his brawny arm.

"I don't know lets her to a hospital immediately "The woman's command caused everyone to comply as they all moved to help me.

"Where are you people taking me, you won't get away with this "I protested.

"She's such a phony, She's doing this on purpose" A blonde with curly hair and hazel-green eyes retorted spitefully scathing me with a look of disbelief and disdain.

"Peyton, I don't think she's pretending" Blonde-haired boy said grimly to the tall leggy blonde, instead of replying she merely frowned at everyone and muttered something under her breath.

"Brooke we have to get you to the hospital so that the doctors can take a look at the lump on your head" The woman they had called Karen spoke slowly in monosyllables as if speaking to a child.

I shrugged her off of me as she helped me to my feet "My name isn't Brooke, and I'm not going anywhere with you people" I turned to walk away.

"Just please look at this "The woman pleaded shoving a brown wallet in my face, I grabbed the wallet and flipped it open. A pretty slightly overweight brunette with hazel eyes beamed back at me off a small plastic driver's license and state ID card the name _Brooke P. Davis _signed with a flourish at the bottom of the card. "So "I shrugged wondering what this was supposed to prove.

"Here, look at this too" Karen gave me a small brown make-up compact; before I could give a sarcastic reply I clicked it open and gazed down into the mirror.

My face was scraped, the pink of my skin showing on one side of my face as three scrape scratches ran down my face with pink tissue and blood showing, on the other a jagged lightening-shaped angry red scar bolted down the side of my face the skin around it taut and painful. A large bump protruded from my forehead, and a crescent shaped moon scar bled lightly under my lip, some old blood around it dried and crusted. Despite my many abrasions there was no denying the chocolate brown locks, and hazel irises that matched that of the girl on the ID card. Suddenly I felt light-headed and swayed slightly to and fro as I struggled to download the new information to my brain.

"I don't remember" The forlorn whisper escaped my dry chafed lips as I felt the tears welling in my eyes, as I stared uneasily around the group of people looking at me like a stranger, I felt like one too.

"Come on we have to get you to a hospital" Karen urged gripping my elbow. In a trance-like daze I allowed her and the boy named Lucas to pick me up and stared straight ahead like a zombie the whole ride to the hospital. No one spoke; the air in car was tense and hushed and no wanted to ruin the precarious unspoken vow of silence and momentary peace as we all stared out at the windows, the scenery of lights, cars, and peoples whooshing by us.

By the time I got near the hospital I had resigned myself to the fact that I was indeed one Brooke P. Davis. "What does the P stand for?" I asked Karen as she drove a bleak expression on her pretty features. "Huh "She said as if coming out a daze herself.

"The P in my name, what does it stand for?" I persisted slightly aggravated that I had to be even asking someone about MY supposed name.

"Penelope "She replied absently and got back to the task of driving. Gripping the plastic card in my hand that had been there for so long that the edges were now cutting and abrading the inner palms of my hand, I looked down at it and fingered the flamboyantly signed P hoping my touch would serve to trigger some dormant memory, but nothing happened, everything was still blank.

"Penelope is ugly, I don't like that name "I pouted petulantly speaking to myself more so than anyone in the card.

"You never did, you were named after your grandmother" The blonde-haired boy who the girl Peyton had called Lucas endearingly. "I have a grandmother" I perked up smiling enthusiastically.

"No she's dead" The boy Lucas quickly corrected my assumption with a crass tone, my shoulders slumped "Do I have parents?" I asked.

"You do" Lucas replied automatically.

"What are their names?" I asked.

He shrugged noncommittally "I don't know, what I the encyclopedia of Brooke Davis's life" He sneered, I was quiet after that.

My silence continued all the way to the hospital, even when the doctors asked the customary questions I didn't speak, I simply stared straight ahead off into a world where I understood everything, unlike this confusing place I was at now.

"Brooke the doctors are going to run some tests now "Karen squeezed my hand as they wheeled me off in the silver hard bed. "Can you come with me? "I asked in a tiny voice afraid of being away from the only thing that was even slightly familiar to me.

She stroked the side of my face lightly and lovingly "Sure" She smiled. As I lie on the bed the technician instructed me to turn my head to the right as the bed slid into a funny looking machine, the luminous light molesting my eyes. I was then instructed to turn my head to the left, and finally just lie in the middle. I was given an X-ray and a couple more tests before the Doctors gave me 3 stitches for the tissue-tearing scrapes on the left side of my face, and cleaned the other bruises on my face.

"She'll have to stay so we can run some more tests "The Doctor announced wheeling me off into a room. "I'm staying with HER" Karen demanded rather than asked the Doctor.

I nearly sighed my relief when I lay down in the softer bed.

"Karen am I going to be all right?" I fretted as I felt a frisson of fear snake along my spine, gripping Karen's larger hand in mine.

"You're going to be fine Brooke, now just get some rest and when you wake up everything's going to all right " Her voice wavered belying the confidence she was trying to act like she felt. Our worry was a factor we had in common as we both held onto one another's hands tightly trying to drain away all the fears and inhibitions we were feeling. And somewhere in the corners of my brain I knew, and recognized this woman, which helped me to close my hands and drift off into a light slumber.

"S' fine Ms. Roe" I whispered sleepily on a yawn barely noticing her gasp of surprise as I fell asleep.

-+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+

When I awoke it was morning time and I was being force- fed a table-spoon of broth. Karen was palpably happy as she fed me the broth. "You know I can do that "The Nurse chuckled checking my machine as she spared Karen a side glance.

"It's not a problem, I like doing this "Karen smiled at her before spooning me up another bit of soup.

"Yeah well just make sure you're discreet, I could lose my job letting you do that "The nurse warned her sternly before leaving out to get me some ice-cream I had suggested.

"Smile Brooke, it's a beautiful morning" Karen gestured to the sun-dappled room with a cheeky grin. I frowned sourly pursing my lips up even more as I gazed at her warily through thin slit eyes "Ok what gives, why you are so happy?" I demanded prudishly.

"You don't remember what you called me before you went to sleep do you?" She arched a brown brow; I gave her a blank look.

"Am I supposed to?"

"You called me Ms. Roe" She finally said when she saw that I wasn't answering.

"So and?"

"So? Do you have any idea what this means, it mean's you're starting to remember, I never told you my last name Brooke, you remembered it, isn't that great!" She beamed.

"Fantastic" I mumbled sardonically.

"Listen Brooke I know this is really hard for you, but I'm going to be right here by your side, helping you to get through this "

"My parents, where are they? Why can't they help me?"

"Well because you and your parents are necessarily on speaking terms Brooke, you haven't been for some years now"

"But their parents right, parents love their children, they wouldn't abandon me at a time like this, you're not my mother, I don't want your help, I want my parents" I said blinking back the tears.

"Brooke- "Karen started uneasily.

"Don't Brooke me! Get me my parents!" I screamed at her causing her to start crying.

"Can't you understand English? Get- me-my-parents-"I yelled slowly enunciating each word as I begin to kick at the blankets and thrash violently on the bed.

"Brooke, please listen" The woman sobbed hysterically not knowing what to do.

"No I'm done listening, I just want my parents, I just want my parents, I want my pare-"I broke down crying burying my face in my hands. My shoulders heaving violently as I sobbed wildly "Who Am I " I whispered quietly.

Karen grabbed my shoulders pulling me into the cocoon of her arms, I allowed her to as I sobbed into her shirt soaking it up with my wet tears. "Do you have kids?" I asked.

"Lucas and a little girl named Lily"

"Do you love them?"

"I'd die for my kids" Her voice full of love.

"My parents don't love me do they, that's why you won't send me to them"

"Its not that Brooke, it's just that you guys have a lot of unresolved issues, Eventually I'll have to call them once you've been released from the hospital, but I just need to be certain your sedate and calm , I don't want you walking into something you're not prepared for"

"What type of person am I that even my own parents don't love me? Do you love me Karen" I upturned my face to gauge her words and reaction.

She petted my brown hair with a big smile "I love you like a daughter Brooke, I wish it were you marrying Luke instead of Peyton"

"Peyton and Lucas, are they together?" I found myself questioning, not knowing why I felt a strong wave of pain pass through me at the mere thought of them together.

"Their getting married, you and Lucas used to date" Karen told me.

"I wish I could remember" I said, and I really meant it although I didn't know why

"It's a nice day "I couldn't help but say as I wheeled off into the sunny air of outside, I allowed the temperate air to caress my face as I smiled.

I had just been released from the hospital and today was a good day for a number of reasons, you see today was the day I'd be meeting my parents. The Doctor who had explained my case as "temporary amnesia " said that it was very good chance that being surrounded with familiar things from my childhood could help to improve the return of my memory.

"The goal Ms. Roe is to basically surround her with people, places, and things she may recognize, her parents are a very primary source of memory return" He instructed as he scrawled off some prescription drugs and suggested that I be enrolled in physical therapy to fully regain the strength in my legs, in which I had damaged upon falling both times, once when I'd hit my head, and secondly when I'd fell again.

Now here we were on the way to my house and I couldn't have been more ecstatic. I all but screamed aloud in joy as I stared out the windows at the large houses and manicured lawns that whirled by.

"My parents must be loaded" I giggled as I focused my eyes on a Thai gardener who was shaping up some hedges in front of one exceedingly large mansion.

"Their considerably well off" Karen allowed as she pulled in front of black gated Mansion.

My heart beat sped up nervously as I drunk in the sight of the white and blue mansion that loomed ahead, with a disturbingly distinctively red door.

"That door is so ugly" I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah Lucas used to call you, the girl behind the red door when you moved back in with your parents"

"Back, meaning I wasn't always staying with them?"

"No, you moved around quite a bit, first you stayed with your aunt and uncle, and then you moved in with Lucas and I , finally when your parents decided to settle in Tree Hill you moved back in with them, you were really happy, you loved them a lot "

"So why didn't they love me back?"

"Its not that they didn't love you, I just don't think they loved a lot of the choices you made"

"Such as?"

"Associating with Lucas and me, we from the other side of the tracks which was considered the poor side of town, I was a drunk back then and I used to sort of beat on Lucas, and well Lucas was innocent in the scheme of things because he was born on the wrong side of the blanket, meaning he's a bastard you know conceived out of wedlock"

I gasped at this news as I tried to envision kind Karen beating on someone "But I don't understand you seem so nice, "

"I am or at least I try to be, I was going through a lot back then Brooke, you have to understand that times were really hard for me and I got weak, I started drinking heavily and venting my frustrations out on Lucas, it got to be so bad he moved out and moved in with your aunt and Uncle, and your cousin Kat, they were best friends you know and the whole reason you even know Lucas"

"I don't remember them "I said wistfully and sadly.

"Your Aunt B is an amazing woman, she's really kind-hearted and her husband Ralph is just as sweet, Kat was kind of weird but she loved you nonetheless , I think she had a thing for Luke back then" Karen said as she parked her car unbuckling her seat belt.

"Well if they love me so much, why couldn't you call them?" I prodded.

"Your parents threatened to have them killed if ever they came near you again, once they found out about you and Lucas, and that they had been condoning it, their thing was that you had been contaminated by them and were spoiled goods"

"Their not really nice people are they, my parents that is "I couldn't help but coo in amazement as I moved to undo my seatbelt as well.

"Hold on let me get your wheelchair" Karen advised reaching into the back and struggling a little as she undid my chair.

"Ok on it you go" She lifted me and helped me onto it.

"I'm scared Karen" I said as she fixed the arrant strands of my hair that sort of got mussed into the flyaway style.

"You'll be fine, after all it's only your parents" She said squeezing my hand before wheeling me up to the gate.

She stepped before the intercom and pressed a button "Who is it" A voice called out hesitantly.

"It's Karen Roe, we spoke on the phone briefly about Brooke" Karen responded, as the gait buzzed open.

I gulped back a lump of fear that resided in my throat as Karen wheeled me off to my doom.

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AN- So I hope this chapter served to clarify a bit of the flashbacks in CHP3 when I made references to Luke's mom being an abusive alcoholic. ALSO tell me if you like the amnesia bit, I know this story is a bit melodramatic but that's sort of the point.

Let me know if I should keep this story, or just DUMP it?

And remember REVIEW, NO REVIEW, and NO UPDATE!! …


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